Cullen Aim
by vivian10471
Summary: Emmett wants a Build-A-Bear , boys v.s girls war , and much much more whats the worst that can happen ? my first fanfic
1. BuildABear and Emmett

chapter 1  **Cullen Aim**

screen names 

***NO SCREEN NAMES FOR MY STORY **

**Bella** signed on

**Edward **signed on

**Bella: **Hey Edward

**Edward: **Hi love , what's up ?

**Bella : **Alice,Emmett, and I are going to the mall

**Edward: **That's nice, but why is Emmett going ?

**Bella: **Well because he wants to go to Build-A-Bear and get himself a teddy bear

**Edward: **Seriously i think Emmett is stuck in a 5 year olds body

**Alice** signs on

**Alice: **Hey Bella , Hey Ed weirdo

**Edward: **MY NAME IS EDWARD , not Eddie poo , Ed weirdo or Eddie kins , its Edward

**Alice: **Well !!! looks like someone didn't go hunting

**Bella : **Edward , you didn't go hunting ?!!!!

**Edward : **No , thanks a lot Alice

**Alice: **your welcome big bro .

**Bella: **Edward Anthony Cullen !!! why didn't you go hunting yet ?

**Edward : **Because i was doing something .......

**Bella: **And what is that so important thing ?

**Alice: **OHHH i know i know i know , Edward is gonna make another lullaby

**Edward: **Alice !!!! it was suppose to be a surprise !!!!

**Bella: **Edward, you were gonna make me another lullaby?

**Edward:** Yes love , but now the surprise is ruined

**Alice: **Sorry Edward , but you never did tell me i couldn't tell anyone

**Jasper **signs on

**Alice:** Hey jazzy

**Bella: **Hey Jasper

**Edward: **Hey jazz

**Jasper: **Hey,Can everyone stop feeling mad,guilty,and worried at the same time ?

**Edward: **Fine , Alice I'm sorry i was mad at you for telling Bella about my surprise

**Alice: **I accept your apology but i still feel guilty about the whole thing

**Edward: **I'll let you get me an entire new wardrobe

**Alice:** I feel better already

**Jasper: **Great now that your problem is fixed , Bella why are you worried?

**Bella: **Edward, I'm just worried that you didn't go hunting yet, its been a month already

**Edward: **OK, love I'm sorry I'll go tonight

**Bella: **OK , does anyone know where Alice went ?

**Alice: **I'm right here , we aren't going to the mall anymore

**Bella:** Why not ?

**Alice: **I just had a vision about Emmet getting his build a bear stuffed but he over stuffs it and explodes the whole machine and we get kicked out of the mall

**Emmet** signs on

**Emmett: **Yo whats up my peeps?

**Alice:** Shut up Emmett

**Bella:** Yeah Emmett go eat a bear or something

**Edward:** Emmett,Emmett,Emmett.....

**Jasper:** Emmett out of all the things you did , this has to be the dumbest

**Emmett:** What did i do ?!! gosh everyone treats me like a kid , I WANNA BE TREATED LIKE A GROWN UP

**Alice: **Well i just had a vision of you going into Build-A-Bear.....

**Emmett: **Yeah, I'm totally excited , but what did i do ?

**Bella:** Emmett you over stuffed you bear and the machine exploded

**Jasper: **Yeah , what a dumb move

**Emmett: **Well , i wanted to make sure there was enough stuffing in it

**Alice:**What ever Emmett , we ended up getting kicked out of the mall and i was gonna buy Edward new clothes

**Emmett: **Well I'm gonna leave, not because I'm scared of you Alice but because Barney is on and i don't want to miss another episode

**Rosalie **signs on

**Rosalie:** Why is Emmett yelling at the TV telling Barney not to over stuff himself before he explodes ?

**Jasper:** It's a long story

**Edward: **yeah, you really don't want to know

**Alice:**Well Bella, i guess we are going to have to go to the mall tomorrow

**Bella: **OK , Edward is it OK if i come with you hunting tonight?

**Edward:** Sure love i can always use the company

**Rosalie: **Can i come too? i just looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes are starting to turn coal black

**Bella: **Sure, i gotta go bye guys

**Edward:** Yeah , i have to go finish my lullaby

**Alice:** Yeah i gotta leave too , i should say sorry for yelling at Emmett

**Rosalie:** Yeah i need to go and throw out all my old clothes from last week

**Bella signed off**

**Edward signed off**

**Alice signed off**

**Rosalie signed off**

**Jasper: **Man, now I'm alone


	2. War

chapter 2 **Cullen Aim **

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on **

**Bella signs on**

**Rosalie:** Hey Alice, Hey Bella SOMEONE SPRAY PAINTED ALL MY CLOTHES ORANGE

**Alice:** Hey Bella, Hey Rosalie SOMEONE SPRAY PAINTED MY CLOTHES BROWN

**Bella: **Hey Alice, Hey Rosalie SOMEONE SPARY PAINTED ALL MY CLOTHES YELLOW

**Alice: **Who would do such a mean thing to clothes?

**Bella: **Yeah Alice i totally agree with you, i just bought a new set of white tanktops but now they are all yellow

**Rosalie: **Who ever did this is gonna pay

**Alice:** I bet it was the boys , i put my red underwear in with their whites in the washing machine

**Bella:** You did what ?!

**Rosalie: **Alice,you have enough underwear to last you for eternity,why did you need to wash your underwear?

**Alice: **Well i wanted to see how the boys would react with pink clothes

**Bella: **Alice, did you ever think what they gonna do something back ?

**Alice: **But at that time i didn't really care, i was too busy deciding which underwear to put in

**Rosalie:** Does it really matter which underwear you put in ?

**Alice:** YES, i didn't know if i wanted to put in a dark red or light red one

**Rosalie: **It doesnt matter

**Alice: **Yes it does

**Rosalie: **No it doesn't

**Alice: **Yes it does

**Bella:** GIRLS, right now this means war , they are gonna regret spray painting on all of our clothes

**Rosalie: **Bells, your right

**Alice: **Yeah, but what are we gonna do?

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper:** Hey girls, do you like what we did to your clothes?

**Emmett: **It was my idea , i saw it on a do it your self channel , its quite interesting

**Edward:** Emmett, did you just say something intelligent ?

**Emmett:** Yeah dude and it felt awesome

**Jasper:** Hope we didn't make you mad

**Alice: **Jasper , how could you ? you know Brown isn't my color

**Jasper: **Sorry hon , they only had brown, yellow, and orange spray paint left

**Rosalie: **Seriously Emmett ? it took me a week to organize my closest and now its ruined, thanks a lot

**Emmett: **Your welcome babe

**Rosalie: **I was being sarcastic

**Emmett: **Oh i knew that

**Bella: **Edward, how could you do such a mean thing?

**Edward: **I'm sorry love , would u like me to help you throw them out?

**Bella: **Yes , that would be helpful

**Emmett: **Dude you are so whipped

**Jasper: **Yeah Edward

**Edward: **Shut up

**Alice: **But boys you do know this means war

**Rosalie: **Yeah , be afraid

**Bella: **You better watch every move you make

**Emmett:** Oh im so scared of the clutz

**Bella: **Emmett you should be scared, Alice has been teaching me how to run in heels

**Edward: **Alice !!!! you are doing what ?!

**Alice:** Edward chill , she had to learn sooner or later

**Edward: **Alice , having Bella being clumsy are one of the things i love about her

**Alice: **Too bad lover boy

**Jasper: **Girls, lets the war begin

**Edward: **Good luck , you need it

**Emmett: **Peace out suckers

**Jasper signs off**

**Edward signs off**

**Emmett signs off**

**Rosalie: **Ladies, we need a plan

**Alice: **I'm too busy crying over my once beautiful clothes

**Rosalie: **Alice suck it up, i'll go shopping with you once this is all over

**Alice: **OK, now whats the plan?

**Bella: **I got an idea but it might be too a little over board

**Alice: **Tell me, i must know

**Rosalie:** Sounds good so far

**Bella: **OK, Alice i want you to get all of Jasper's books and Rosalie i want you to get all of Emmett's video games

**Alice: **OK no problem

**Rosalie: **Bells, what are you gonna do?

**Bella: **Oh im going to get all of Edward's CDs

**Alice: **I love this plan, we need to go shopping for spy clothes

**Rosalie:** Alice right now isn't the time for that

**Alice:** Fine

**5 mintues later **

**Bella:** OK, i got all of Edward's Cds

**Alice: **I got all of Jasper's books

**Rosalie: **And i got all of Emmett's Video games

**Bella: **Now we just have to hide them

**Rosalie: **Yeah but where?

**Alice: **I got a vision , we are gonna hide them at Mike Newton's house

**Bella: **I'm not even gonna ask why lets just go

**Rosalie signs off **

**Alice signs off**

**Bella signs off**

**Emmett signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett:** Dudes do you know what happened to all my video games ?

**Edward: **Do you know what happened to all my CDs?

**Jasper: **All my books are gone

**Edward:** EMMETT

**Jasper: **EMMETT

**Emmett: **Why does everyone always assume its me ?

**Jasper: **Because , its you Emmett , you love to do this stuff

**Emmett:** But all my video games are gone, why would i hide my own video games ?

**Edward: **Good point

**Jasper: **Emmett, i'm sorry i accused you

**Emmett:** It's ok dude , i think the girls did this

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Bella: **Hey boys do you like what we did ?

**Alice: **Thats the last time your gonna mess with us

**Rosalie: **Never mess with us again

**Emmett: **Give us back our stuff , i miss my video games ,I bought the new spongebob game too

**Edward: **I need my music , im going to go crazy if i dont have my Clair De Lune

**Jasper: **I was thinking about reading about the Anglo-American war of 1812

**Bella: **If you want your stuff back, then you have to come with us to buy an enitre new wardrobe

**Alice: **Wearing heels

**Rosalie: **And makeup

**Emmett: **No way

**Jasper:** Not gonna happen

**Edward: **No thanks

**Bella: **Fine then your not gonna get your stuff

**Emmett: **Fine, only because i need my Spongebob

**Edward: **Fine

**Jasper: **OK, now tell us where it is

**Alice: **Mike Newtons house

**Edward:** What?! Fine bye

**Jasper: **Bye....

**Emmett: **EVIL , Spongebobo im coming wait for me

**Edward signs off**

**Jasper signs off**

**Emmet signs off**

**Bella:** Yes we won

**Alice: **Victory

**Rosalie: **Yay i knew we would win , we never lose


	3. Prom

**chapter 3 Cullen Aim**

**Alice signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice:** Hi, Jazzy,are you ready for prom?

**Jasper: **Yes,darling im excited to see you in your prom dress

**Alice:** I totally forgot about my dress, its so pink i love it

**Jasper:** Then if your happy then so am i

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Alice:** Hey Bella,are you excited for prom?

**Bella:** Yes Alice but can you go easy on the makeup ?

**Alice:** But then your look wont be perfect

**Bella****:** Alice looks don't matter to me, as long as i'm in Edwards arm

**Alice:** But Edward would think you look pretty in makeup

**Edward :**Alice stop torturing Bella, I love her with or without makeup

**Alice:** Fine , oh and Bella ?

**Bella:** Yes Alice?

**Alice: **I'm taking you shopping tomorrow at 6 in the morning just to let you know

**Edward:** Alice, what did i just say?

**Alice:** You love Bella with or without makeup?

**Edward:** No, STOP TORTURING HER

**Alice:** No need to scream

**Jasper:** Can everyone stop yelling ?Your making me crazy,I need to go hunting

**Alice:** I'm sorry jazz, I'll go with you

**Jasper:** ok thanks hon

**Alice:** No problem

**Jasper signs off**

**Alice signs off**

**Bella: **Edward, prom will be exciting if Alice doesn't torture me

**Edward:** Yes, we will have a great time

**Edward:** I'm going to listen to my music love,I'll talk to you later

**Bella:** Ok bye

**Edward:** Bye

**Edward signs off**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Bella:** Hey Rose

**Rosalie:** Hi , Bella did you go prom dress shopping yet?

**Bella:** Nope, how about you?

**Rosalie:** No , do you want to go with me?

**Bella:** Sure, lets just hope Alice won't kills us for going without her

**Alice signs on**

**Alice:** YOU TWO BETTER NOT BE GOING WITHOUT ME, IM COMING TOO

**Bella: **Fine, but nothing pink for me

**Rosalie:** And i can manage on my own

**Alice:** Fine, yay im so excited lets go now before they close the mall

**Rosalie:** Fine, bye

**Bella:** Talk to you later bye

**Alice signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Bella signs off**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett:** Guys, i need your help

**Jasper: **Emmett, what did you do this time ?

**Edward:** It better not be stupid

**Emmett:** I never do stupid things , But i accidentally ripped Alice's prom dress

**Jasper:** YOU DID WHAT ?!

**Edward:** Alice is gonna rip you and throw you in the fire

**Emmett:** I know and i can't find another one like it online

**Jasper: **How did you manage to rip it?

**Edward:** Yeah, only you can do such a thing

**Emmett:** Well i was walking by her room and saw it hanging on the wall so i decide to try it on, to see what i would look like in a dress and it ripped

**Jasper:** Emmett, that dress is 9 sizes smaller than you

**Edward:** How did you even get it fully on?

**Emmett:** Eddie, you don't want to know , all i can tell you is that its a lot harder than it looks

**Edward:** My name is Edward, not Eddie

**Emmett: **Yeah,what ever can you two just help me?

**Jasper:** Sorry Emmett, im not an expert in this department

**Edward:** Yeah and as much as i want to help i don't know much about dresses

**Emmett:** Fine,i'll just put it back on the hanger and go watch a new episode of The Wiggles

**Jasper:**The Wiggles?

**Edward:** Didn't you just watch Barney yesterday?

**Emmett:** Yes,but today is a new episode about The Wiggles

**Jasper:** What is that show even about?

**Emmett:** Well there is a lot of singing and there is even a pirate on the show. Todays episode they are gonna sing a song about hot potatoes

**Edward:** Emmett, i will never understand you and your children shows

**Jasper:** Maybe you should read a book

**Emmett:** NEVER , your just jealous your not one of The Wiggles

**Edward: **Sure.....what ever you say

**Emmett:** Gotta go they are singing the song

**Jasper:**Yeah i gotta go too, i need to finish my book

**Edward:**I might as well sign off too

**Jasper signs off**

**Emmett signed off**

**Edward signs off**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice:**Prom dress shopping was so much fun,Bella i'm happy you found your dress

**Bella:** Thanks for your help,But Alice wheres your dress?

**Alice:**Oh i already bought it

**Rosalie: **This early?

**Alice:**Yeah, you can never buy your dress too early

**Bella:**Can i see your dress Alice?

**Rosalie:** Yeah me too

**Alice:** Sure i'll go get it

**5 minutes later**

**Alice:** SOMEONE RIPPED MY DRESS

**Bella:** WHAT?!

**Rosalie:**I bet it was Emmett,I'm going to kill him

**Alice:** EMMETT !!!!!

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett:** Did someone call my name?

**Alice:** YES, I DID

**Emmett: **Yes Alice?

**Alice:** WHY DID YOU RIP MY DRESS ?

**Emmett:** Well,i wanted to try it on and when i did it ripped

**Bella:** Emmett,Isn't Alice 9 sizes smaller than you?

**Emmett:** Yeah, I wasn't thinking when i was wearing it

**Alice:** Obviously

**Rosalie:** Alice, just buy it again we have enough money

**Alice: **I can't it, Kimora Lee Simmons made it just for me

**Bella:** But she doesnt make prom dresses

**Alice:** I know but she is my favorite designer and i offered her so much money she couldn't refuse

**Bella:** Obviously you would do that Alice

**Alice:** Yes, anyways there isn't another on like it and i doubt she will make another one. It took 5 months for the 1st one to be finished

**Emmett:** Alice, i'm so sorry just don't hurt me

**Alice:** Emmett, your forgiven on the bright side i can go shopping for another dress

**Emmett: **Ok since this is all set PEACE OUT

**Alice:** Bella , Rosalie do you want to go shopping for a dress with me?

**Bella:** Sure

**Rosalie:** Yeah totally

**Alice signs off**

**Bella signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Emmett signs off**

**AN. I hope you like it, it took me forever to think of another chapter but my friend help me and it looks perfect to me _PLEASE_ _REVIEW_  
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	4. The Ring

**Chapter 4 **

**Rosalie signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie:** Girls, I need your help !!!!

**Alice: **Anything for you Rose

**Bella: **What is it?

**Rosalie: **I ACCIDENTALLY WASHED MY WEDDING RING DOWN THE SINK.

**Alice: **You did what ?!

**Bella: **How did you manage to do that ?

**Rosalie: **Well i was trying to tidy up the bathroom and i put my ring on the edge of the sink and it just fell in

**Alice: **Were vampires, you could have caught it just in time

**Rosalie: **I was too shocked for 5 seconds and the ring was already gone

**Bella:** Rose you can either tell Emmett

**Alice: **Or you can just go and buy another ring

**Rosalie: **I could never tell Emmett, he would get mad and he hasn't really gone hunting in a while

**Bella: **WHATS WITH THIS FAMILY AND NOT GOING HUNTING?

**Alice: **What do you mean bells ?

**Bella: **Well first Edward not going hunting and now Emmett?

**Rosalie: **Girls, that doesn't matter right now, we need to focus

**Bella: **Sorry Rose

**Rosalie: **It's ok, I'm going to go and try to find another ring just like it bye

**Bella: **Good luck

**Alice: **Yeah

**Rosalie: **Thanks , bye

**Rosalie signs off**

**Bella: **I feel so bad for Rose

**Alice: **Yeah me too

**Bella: **Should we tell Emmett?

**Alice:** I dont think so, we should let him figure it out

**Bella: **Ok, i have to go, i'm going shopping, want to come?

**Alice: **ARE YOU CRAZY?

**Bella: **Yes,No,Yes , is that a trick question?

**Alice: **Sorry about the confusion. I WOULD LOVE TO GO SHOPPING, LET'S GO

**Bella signed off**

**Alice signed off**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward:** Jasper, i just saw one of Alice's visions and Rose's wedding ring fell into the sink

**Jasper:** What?! where are they now?

**Edward: **Well Alice is at the mall with Bella, But Rose is blocking her mind from me

**Jasper: **We have to tell Emmett

**Edward: **But that wouldn't be nice of us

**Jasper: **So, think of all the horrible things Rosalie has done to us in the past

**Edward: **You have a good point

**Jasper:** Exactly bro

**Edward: **EMMETT !!!

**Jasper: **EMMETT !!

**Emmett : **Whats up yo?

**Edward: **Stop talking like your from the hood Emmett

**Emmett: **But i am from the hood

**Jasper: **Would someone from the hood watch Barney and The Wiggles ?

**Emmett :** No , but they would if they knew how funny and awesome those shows are

**Edward: **Forget it

**Emmett: **Forget what?

**Jasper: **Nevermind, we have something to tell you

**Emmett: **OK, what is it?

**Edward: **Rose's wedding ring fell into the sink

**Emmett: **OK, thanks for telling me

**Jasper:** Your not mad?

**Emmett: **Nope, because my wedding ring fell down the toilet

**Edward: **EMMETT HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

**Emmett: **Well i wanted to see if it would float

**Jasper: **And did it?

**Emmett: **Sadly no

**Edward: **Is there more to the story?

**Emmett: **Yeah, so i forgot what i was doing and saw something in the toilet and just flushed it

**Jasper:** Emmett, i think a new episode of Blue's Clues is on

**Emmett: **Thanks Bro, i've been waiting for a new episode to come on PEACE OUT

**Emmett signs off**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward: **Alice, i saw your vision of Rose's wedding ring and Jasper and I told Emmett

**Alice: **YOU DID WHAT ?!

**Bella: **Love, why would you do such a thing?

**Edward: **Because Rose is mean

**Alice: **Thats your lame excuse?

**Edward: **Yes and its not lame

**Alice: **But she is never mean to Bella and I

**Jasper: **Because your girls

**Bella: **How did Emmett take the news?

**Edward: **Love, He took it like a man and not a 5 year old boy

**Alice: **Really what did he say?

**Jasper: **That he was fine with it because he flushed his ring down the toilet

**Bella: **He did what ?!

**Alice: **Is he stupid ? Never mind forget what i asked

**Rosalie signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Alice: **ROSE !!

**Bella: **ROSE !!

**Rosalie: **Yes ?

**Alice : **Emmett Flushed his wedding ring down the toilet

**Emmett : **Hey, that was suppose to be a secret

**Rosalie: **Emmett, if you flushed your ring down the toilet then what is that thing on your left hand?

**Emmett: **Well i was at Stop & Shop and i was passing the cereal aisle and there was a ring in the Cocoa Puffs cereal so i got the ring before anyone could see me

**Edward: **What were you doing at Stop&Shop ?

**Emmett: **To look at the toys duh

**Rosalie: **Ok,Emmett tomorrow we are both getting new rings

**Emmett: **Can i have one shaped like Blue's Clues Paw?

**Rosalie: **NO

**Emmett: **Fine,babe PEACE OUT

**Rosalie: **I'm going to find some rings online bye

**Alice: **I'll help

**Bella: **Me too

**Edward: **I'm going to listen to my music

**Alice signs off**

**Bella signs off**

**Emmett signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Edward signs off**

**AN. I hope you like it _PLEASE REVIEW _  
**


	5. AN HELP

**I know this isn't a chapter but i can't think of any more ideas , i would really appriciate it if you guys could tell me what you want to see in the next chapter . and if i get more responses then i can post the chapter sooner.**


	6. Bake sale

**Chapter 6 **

**I hope you like this chapter, it took me a whole night to think about what i was gonna write about _ENJOY _  
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**Bella signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella: **Hey , Alice im going somewhere and i need you to promise me your not going to tell Edward

**Alice: **I promise, where are you going?

**Bella: **Mike Newton's house....

**Alice: **Bells, are you crazy ?!

**Bella: **I know it sounds crazy, but Mike needs help with the bake sale and i am one of the best cooks in the school

**Alice: **Don't you think it's crazy that he just chooses you? I mean there are other cooks out there , but he just had to choose you

**Bella: **Alice, i know it sounds insane but just believe me, nothing is going to happen and if he trys to make a move on me, i'll crush his arm like a grape

**Alice: **Alright Bells, i believe you and don't worry your secret is safe with me

**Bella: **Thanks Alice, Your the bestest friend ever

**Alice: **I know

**Bella: **Ok, well i have to go to Mike's house now , but i will try to finish as soon as i can

**Alice: **Ok see you later

**Bella: **Bye

* * *

**Bella signs off **

**Edward signs on**

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* * *

  
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**Edward: **Alice, Do you know where Bella is?

**Alice: **Nope, haven't seen her

**Edward: **Alice , i know your lieing , your singing I'm A Barbie Girl in your head

**Alice :** So , it doesn't mean im lieing , I like to sing songs in and out of my head, You can't prove anything

**Edward: **Very true Alice, but if you don't tell me where she is i'll burn your new Louis Vuitton purse

**Alice: **Nooo, Not the purse, Please Edward i just got her and she is so precious to me, they only made 3 in the whole world.

**Edward: **Then tell me or els the purse is going in the fire

**Alice: **Fine, she is at Mike Newton's house and touch my stuff ever again i will burn your piano

**Edward: **WHAT ?! WHAT IS SHE DOING AT NEWTON'S HOUSE ?!

**Alice: **Well they are studying ......

**Edward: **ALICE TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE DOING BECAUSE IT SURE ISN'T STUDYING !!!

**Alice: **Fine. they are baking for the bake sale

**Edward: **Why does Newton need Bella for the bake sale ?

**Alice: **Because everyone in our school knows Bella is one of the best cooks, so Mike asked her and she said yes

**Edward: **Why didn't you stop her ?

**Alice: **Because she said i was her bestest friend

**Edward:** But you already know that

**Alice: **Yes, but just hearing it from her makes me very happy

**Edward: **I'm going to Newton's house to make sure he doesn't put a move on her and Alice?

**Alice: **Yes bro ?

**Edward: **If you do touch my piano, not only would your precious purse go in the fire but also your new Gucci shoes

**Alice: **You EVIL vampire

**Edward: **Yes i know, i must go now bye

* * *

**Edward signs off**

**Bella signs on**

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**Bella: **Hey Alice

**Alice: **Hi Bells , how was baking?

**Bella: **Good, he actually did need help with his baking, i told him to do the first couple of batches and he almost burnt down his kitchen

**Alice: **Oh that's good,Umm Bella i told Edward that you went to Mike's house

**Bella:** YOU DID WHAT ?!

**Alice:** Well he knew i was lieing and he threatened to burn my Louis Vuitton purse

**Bella: **Ok, i understand , how did he take the news?

**Alice:** Well at first he freaked out but when i explained everything to him he understood, but he went to check on you

**Bella: **Oh Edward is in trouble , He can never trust me alone with Mike

**Alice: **Well, i'm gonna go and count my outfits good luck with Edward bye

* * *

**Alice signs off**

**Edward signs on**

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* * *

  
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**Bella: **EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN, WHY DID YOU GO TO MIKE'S HOUSE TO CHECK ON ME?

**Edward: **I don't trust Newton alone with you

**Bella: **But he really did need my help, He almost burnt down his kitchen when i told him to start by himself

**Edward: **Ohh.... Bella love , i'm sorry i didn't trust you , i will never do it again , and by the way Newton won't be going to school tomorrow

**Bella: **What did you do?

**Edward: **Well after you left, i saw him do a victory dance and that's when i got mad , so i knocked on his door and punched him in the face

**Bella: **Edward, the next time you punch someones face, make sure its ok with me first

**Edward: **Ok love im sorry about not trusting you , i will never sneak around someones house again

**Bella: **That's all i ask , thank you

**Edward: **Your welcome

**Bella: **I'm going to go and help Alice and Rosalie are doing Bye

**Edward: **I'm going to see what Emmett and Jasper are doing Bye

* * *

**Bella signs off**

**Edward signs off **

**

* * *

AN. I hope you like it _PLEASE REVIEW_  
**


	7. Food Fight

**Chapter 7 **

**AN. I hope you like it , i would like to thank **xxTwilightloverxx13 **for giving me the idea _ENJOY _**

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* * *

  
**

**Emmet signs on **

**Jasper signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Hey jazz

**Jasper: **Hey Emmett

**Emmett: **Jasper, im so bored and there aren't any new episodes of Barney, The Wiggles, or Blue's Clues

**Jasper: **Then go hunting

**Emmett: **I already went last week

**Jasper: **May i suggest reading a book?

**Emmett: **JASPER , how dare you say that word

**Jasper: **Emmett, I've read over a thousand book and look at how my life is now

**Emmett: **Jasper....Your a nerd who reads books most of the day and has an evil pixie as a wife

**Jasper :** DON'T CALL ME A NERD AND DON'T CALL ALICE A PIXIE

**Emmett: **Fine, Fine .....NERD

**Jasper: **That's it , it's war

**Emmett: **BRING IT ON

**Jasper: **Fine * Goes in the kitchen, gets some mash potatoes, goes to Emmett *

**Emmett: **Jasper? What are you doing with the mash potatoes?

**Jasper: **Oh , you'll see bro

**Emmett: **WAIT !!! This is a new shirt Rose bough me, i don't want to get any food on it

**Jasper: **You should have thought of that before insulting my life * AIM , FIRE , gets mash potatoes on Emmett's shirt*

**Emmett: **Oh that's it , FOOD FIGHT !!!!

* * *

After 5 minutes of the food fight Emmett and jasper run into Alice's room and starts throwing mash potatoes everywhere. Eventually in the end her room ended up looking like a baby barfed

* * *

**Emmett: **Dude , That was the best food fight ever

**Jasper: **Yeah, i so won

**Emmett: **No, I won

**Jasper: **I'm pretty sure i won

**Emmett: **I'm positive i won

**Jasper: **WAIT !!! where did we have the food fight ?

**Emmett: **In Alice's room......OH MY GOSH WE HAD A FOOD FIGHT IN ALICE'S ROOM , that's awesome

**Jasper: **NO, Emmett, that's horrible we got food everywhere

**Emmett: **So....

**Jasper: **SO ALICE WILL PROBABLY KILL US

**Emmett: **Gosh, we'll clean it up before she comes home, jeez who got mash potatoes in your ear?

**Jasper: **Apparently you did

**Emmett: **Oh yeah sorry about that

**Jasper: **Its ok its what brothers do

**Emmett: **Wanna go play some Xbox?

**Jasper: **Sure , Race ya?

**Emmett: **YEAH , 1 2 3 GO

* * *

**Jasper signs off**

**Emmett signs off**

**

* * *

  
**

**Alice signs on **

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**

* * *

  
**

**Alice: **JASPER,EMMETT WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM ?!!!

**Emmett: **Had a food fight...

**Jasper: **Emmett, shut up your not suppose to say anything

**Emmett: **Oh yeah sorry , Alice what makes you think we are the ones who did it?

**Alice: **We'll i was out, you were home, and the rest of the family is out hunting , now explain

**Jasper: **I'm sorry darling, Emmett made me do it, he called me a nerd and you an evil pixie

**Alice: **Emmett , Stop making fun of Jasper and me. You know what , this calls for revenge

* * *

**5 minutes later there is a crash **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Jasper, what was that?

**Jasper: **I bet it was just nothing

**Alice: **Jasper, Emmett you won't be playing Xbox anymore

**Emmett: **Alice, what did you do to my baby ?!!

**Alice: **Crushed it into a million pieces ....

**Emmett: **You really are an evil pixie

**Alice: **Well that's the last time you would ever think about having a food fight in my room

**Jasper: **Darling, your right to have crushed Emmett's Xbox, we'll go clean up your room .

**Alice: **Thank you hon

**Emmett: **Dude, you and Edward are so whipped

**Alice: **Oh yeah and Emmet, I'm going to tell Rose , you got food on the shirt she bought you

**Emmett: **AWWWW MAN

* * *

**Alice signs off**

**Emmett signs off**

**Jasper signs off**

**

* * *

An. thats all i got so far. Im probably going to get the next chapter up soon _PLEASE REVIEW :)_  
**


	8. SnowBall Fights and Snowmans

**Chapter 8 **

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* * *

  
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**Rosalie signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett signs on **

**Alice signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Rosalie:** Hey, guys its so beautiful outside, like a winter wonderland

**Alice:** Yeah, we should have a snowball fight and build a snowman

**Bella:** I loved doing those things when i was a human

**Edward: **Then lets make it a game, girls. v.s boys snowball fight

**Emmett: **Yeah we would so win

**Rosalie: **No you wouldn't

**Jasper:** I think we should make this game more interesting

**Bella: **How so Jasper ?

**Jasper: **Well lets make a bet, if the girls win they get to away our books, Video games, and music for 2 months

**Emmett: **And if we win we get to take away shopping for them for 2 months

**Rosalie: **Deal , i can last that long

**Bella: **Is that the best you can do ?

**Alice: **Nooo, don't take shopping away from me , i won't survive , what kind of people are you ?

**Edward: **Alice, you are addicted to shopping , maybe this snowball fight would be a good lesson for you

**Alice: **Fine , let the games begin

* * *

30 minutes later there was a loud crash in the living room

* * *

**Carlisle signs on **

**Carlisle: **KIDS !!!!!

**Rosalie: **Yes daddy ?

**Carlisle: **Don't yes daddy me , Who threw the snowball through the window?

**Bella: **Emmett

**Emmett: **Oh thanks a lot little sis

**Carlisle: **EMMETT !!!! why did you throw a snowball through the window ?!

**Emmett: **It wasn't my fault , i was aiming for Alice and she ducked so it hit the window , i guess i threw it with too much force

**Alice: **Emmett stop being a trouble maker

**Edward: **Alice, your the one who ducked, if you let the snowball hit you in the face, non of this would be happening

**Alice:** Well excuse me for not wanting snow in my hair

**Carlisle: **Emmett, your grounded for 3 weeks with no TV

**Emmett: **But dad , there is suppose to be a new episode of Barney tomorrow, i can't miss it

**Carlisle: **Well you should have thought of that before you threw the snowball

**Jasper: **Don't worry bro , i'll record it for you

**Emmett: **Thanks

**Carlisle: **Now im going back to work and i better not find another broken window

* * *

**Carlisle signs off **

**

* * *

  
**

**Bella: **Well since we can't have a snowball fight anymore lets make a snowman

**Alice: **Yeah that's a great idea

**Jasper: **Sure

* * *

47 minutes later

* * *

**Emmett: **I made the best snowman ever

**Edward: **Emmett, what was your snowman ?

**Jasper: **Yeah it looked like a deformed tree

**Emmett: **It was Spongebob

**Bella: **I thought it was a giant light bulb

**Emmett: **Ok, can we stop making fun of my snowman?

**Rosalie: **Aww babe don't feel bad , i made a purse and it came out like a shoe

**Emmett: **Thanks baby

**Alice: **Anyways, who won the bet ?

**Edward: **I don't think any of us did

**Bella: **So does that mean the bet is over?

**Jasper: **Yeah

**Alice: **Thank god , i don't think i would be able to live without shopping for 2 months

**Rosalie: **Yeah me either, i saw a new Marc Jacobs jacket in the magazine and i have to get it

**Bella: **I saw a new design for converse and i'm dieing to get it

**Edward: **I don't think i would be able to live without my piano , i play it everyday

**Jasper: **Yeah same here, my books is my life most of the time

**Emmett: **Well i could live without my video games since i'm grounded for 3 weeks, but when i'm ungrounded i can't wait to play with my new Spongebob game

* * *

**Carlisle signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Carlisle:** Why is there a deformed tree in our backyard?

**Emmett: **IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE SPONGEOB

* * *

**Edward signs off**

**Bella signs off**

**Jasper signs off**

**Alice signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Emmett signs off**

**Carlisle signs off **

**

* * *

AN. i hope you like it , please tell me what you think about this chapter _PLEASE REVIEW _  
**


	9. I Love You , You Love Me

**Chapter 9 **

**I would like to say thanks to **Killer-Kay-Kay **for the idea of this chapter :)**

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett signs on **

**Rosalie signs on **

**Alice signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Yo peeps i got awesome news !

**Edward: **Emmett don't say yo or peeps

**Emmett: **Your just jealous you can't say it

**Edward: **I can and i would but i won't

**Jasper: **Can you two just fight about this later , Emmett whats the news?

**Emmett: **Well jasper before i was rudely interrupted , i got front row tickets to see BARNEY !!!!

**Bella: **How did you get them Emmett ?

**Emmett: **I'm glad you asked Bella, its a really funny story actually, i was listening to playhouse Disney or whatever they have in the morning before radio Disney and they were giving away free tickets to see Barney , if they knew what colors Barney was, so i called them as fast as i could and told them the answer and that's how i got the tickets

**Alice: **Wow Emmett, that's a uh pretty interesting story

**Rosalie: **Yeah so you said tickets?

**Emmett: **Yes, 2 actually who wants to go with me ?

**Jasper: **I can't sorry im , uh going hunting for the next.....when are you going?

**Emmett: **In 30 minutes

**Jasper: **Yeah im going hunting in 30 minutes sorry bro

**Emmett: **Its ok, anybody els want to go ? Bella ?

**Bella: **Sorry Emmett , im going shopping with Alice and Rosalie , right Alice and Rosalie ?

**Rosalie: **Yeah totally

**Alice: **Yay , yes Emmett , were sorry maybe next time

**Emmett: **Thats fine, how about you Eddie kins ?

**Edward: **Don't call me Eddie kins...

**Emmett: **Eddie ?

**Edward: **Don't call me Eddie

**Emmett: **Ed weirdo ?

**Edward: **JUST CALL ME EDWARD

**Emmett: **Ok , Edward do you want to go?

**Edward: **No, im going hunting with Jasper, right jazz?

**Jasper: **Umm yes Emmett

**Emmett: **PARTY POOPERS , I KNOW YOUR LIEING IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME

**Rosalie: **Sorry baby we didn't want to hurt your feelings

**Alice: **Yeah sorry Emmett, im just not a Barney's fan

**Bella: **Emmett if you got tickets to cold play i would really go with you

**Edward: **Yeah i agree with Bella , but instead i would appreciate something more classical

**Jasper: **I'm sorry bro we'll go with you next time

**Emmett: **Ok i forgive you guys , well i gotta go, the show starts in 30 minutes PEACE OUT

* * *

**1 hour later **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Hey, guys im home

**Edward: **How was the show ?

**Jasper: **Yeah was it cool to see Barney in person?

**Emmett: **It was so cool, he is even more purple in person

**Bella: **That's cool Emmett, i guess

**Alice: **Did you bring any souvenirs home ?

**Emmett: **Yeah i brought home the ultimate souvenir

**Rosalie: **What did you bring home babe ?

**Emmett: **BARNEY !!!!!

**Edward: **What ?!

**Jasper: **Emmett, Are you serious?

**Alice: **Emmett, you can't bring home the star of the show

**Emmett: **But i did

**Barney: **Hey there boys and girls

**Edward: **Oh My Godness, you were serious

**Emmett: **Of course i was serious , i don't joke about these things

**Jasper: **How did you even manage to even have him come home with you ?

**Emmett: **Well after the show i went backstage and i gave hugs and talked to Barney and after a while we were both attached to each other

**Barney: **Yes, Emmett is my #1 fan

**Alice: **Shut up Barney no one likes you

**Emmett: **Alice don't talk to Barney like that , you hurt his feelings

**Bella: **Emmett shut up no one likes you

**Emmett: **My feelings are hurt now

**Jasper: **They should be hurt, Emmett, you brought home Barney , we have permission to freak out !

**Rosalie: **How do you plan on bringing him back ?!

**Emmett: **We'll ...HE IS GOING TO LIVE WITH US

**Jasper: **WHAT ?!

**Rosalie : **We'll he can sleep with you on the couch because after this that's where your going to be living

**Alice: **Oh Emmett just got rashed

**Emmett: **Alice shut up, i got this whole plan figured out, He doesn't eat and he can make himself happy, he would fit right in

**Edward: **Thats it im getting Esme

* * *

**5 minutes later **

**

* * *

  
**

**Esme: **EMMETT CULLEN !!!!! you are not letting Barney stay here

**Emmett: **But Mom , i love him and he loves me, were a perfect family please ?

**Esme: **No Emmett , you have the choice of either giving him back or giving up video games forever and they just made a new The Wiggles video game

**Emmett: **The Wiggles ? Oh My God this is the hardest choice ever

**Esme: **Well you better decide in 3....2....

**Emmett: **Ok Ok i choose video game

**Esme: **Thats more like it , now go bring him back before he makes everyone go crazy

* * *

**Esme signs off **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Barney i'm sorry but you can't stay here

**Barney: **Oh its ok you've been a very good boy through all of this , would you like some back stage passes to my next show ?

**Emmett: **I WOULD LOVE T.... actually i think its best if we not talk to each other again , its not me, its you

**Barney: **Before i go would you like to sing the song with me?

**Emmett: **Sure

**Barney: **I love you

**Emmett: **You love me

**Barney: **Were a happy family

**Emmett: **With a great big hug

**Barney: **And a kiss from me to you

**Emmett: **Won't you say you love me too, Bye Barney i'll miss you

**Edward: **Emmett suck it up and be a man

**Emmett: **Shut up Edward , Barney and i are having a moment, don't ruin it

* * *

**Emmett signs off**

**Edward signs off**

**Alice signs off**

**Jasper signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Bella signs off **

**Barney signs off **

**

* * *

AN. I hope you enjoyed it, i tried to make it really funny , Tell me what you think , i love hearing what my readers think about my stories _PLEASE REVIEW :)_  
**


	10. AN , HELP

**I Can't Think of anymore ideas and i dont want it to only be Emmett getting introuble because that would just be too boring, i want to write **

**about something that is exciting and new, something that will make you want to keep you can think of any ideas, then please please tell me . **

**Its a lot harder than i thought it would be.**


	11. Forks !

**Chapter 11**

**I would like to thank **Killer-Kay-kay** for giving me the idea, i couldn't just choose one ,so i choose them all  
**

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett signs on**

**Jasper signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Jasper do you think i would make a good super hero?

**Jasper: **If you were saving the whole city from bad guys and not use your reputation just to meet Sponge bob then yes, i think you would make a very good superhero

**Emmett: **Well i didn't think of that before but now that you told me, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to meet Sponge bob in person

**Jasper: **Emmett isn't just watching Sponge Bob on TV good enough?

**Emmett: **Jasper don't say such things, it is never the same and to think i thought you were cool.

**Jasper: **But i am cool.....

**Emmett: **No not really

**Jasper: **Emmett, what would be your super hero name?

**Emmett: **Well i was thinking of.....actually i never really thought about it, i was too concentrated of meeting Sponge Bob

**Jasper: **Ok, we can cross Emmett becoming a super hero out,What els have you always wanted ?

**Emmett: **I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A PUPPY !!!

**Jasper: **Emmett, absolutely not !!!

**Emmett: **But why?

**Jasper: **You want to bring home a puppy to a house full of vampires?

**Emmett: **I can put the puppy in the basement, see i have the answers to everything

**Jasper: **Oh my god Emmett your not getting a puppy

**Emmett: **FINE, but i think your just jealous that your not a puppy

**Jasper: **Sure Emmett what ever you say

**Emmett: **Exactly what ever i say, finally your keeping up with me

**Jasper: **Oh never mind Emmett.

* * *

**Bella signs on **

**Bella: **Emmett if i said i like you what would you say back ?

**Emmett: **I would say whats cooking hot looking ?

**Jasper: **Why would you say that ?

**Emmett: **Well why wouldn't i say that ?

**Jasper: **Good point

**Emmett: **Bella i hope this doesn't mean what i think it means

**Bella: **What do you think i mean ?

**Emmett: **That's you've fallen in love with me

**Bella: **Ewww no Emmett , im sorry i was reading a magazine and thought i would give it a try

**Emmett: **WHAT KIND OF SICK MAGAZINE ARE YOU READING ?

**Bella: **Cosmo girl, But dont worry i don't have feelings for you like that [ Sorry to all the people who love reading Cosmo Girl i couldn't think of any other magazine]

**Emmett: **Good

**Jasper: **Sorry to interrupt but where are Carlisle and Esme?

* * *

**Alice signs on **

**Alice: **They are taking a trip

**Bella: **How do you know?

**Alice: **Hello Bella, can see the future here

**Bella: **Oh yeah sorry Alice, i sometime forget

**Alice:** It's ok

**Jasper: **Where did they go ?

**Alice: **Island Esme

**Emmett: **Esme has an island ?

**Jasper: **Oh my god

**Bella: **Emmett just shut up

**Emmett: **WHAT ?! NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING

**Jasper: **They've had that island since forever. We even talk about it

**Emmett: **Well, i have memory lost

**Bella: **Excuses

**Emmett: **Fine don't believe me

**Bella: **I never did

* * *

**Edward signs on **

**Edward: **We Have to move

**Emmett: **Why i really like it here in.....where do we live ?

**Jasper: **FORKS, EMMETT WE LIVE IN FORKS

**Emmett: **Jeez Jasper no need to yell

**Jasper: **I wouldn't need to if you didnt have a brain the size of a walnut

**Emmett: **Its not my fault . I was dropped a lot when i was little

**Jasper: **Yeah i can tell

**Bella: **Boys shut up, Edward why do we need to move ?

**Edward: **Well i got curious and decided to visit Newton at his Newton's sporting Goods , so i went in and looked around until i heard his thoughts

**Bella: **What did he say ?

**Edward: **He exactly had a plan in his mind saying he is going to break us up and your gonna be with him forever

**Bella: **Thats ridiculous, i would never like him, im too much in love with you. Wait what did you do?

**Edward: **After i heard his disgusting thoughts i went up to him and threw him across the store and he landed on top of the shelves unconscious

**Emmett: **Way to go bro, show him not to mess with your girl

**Bella: **Emmett don't in courage him

**Edward: **I'm sorry Bella and that's why we have to move before he wakes up and tells the police

**Alice: **Wait before anyone thinks of anything i just had a vision and the police thinks Newton hit his head too hard and is thinking of things

**Edward: **So were safe, good

**Emmett: **I'm glad we don't have to move from....where do we live ?

**Jasper: **FORKS FOR THE LAST TIME

**Bella: **FORKS

**Alice: **We lived in Forks for the past couple of years

**Edward: **Emmett write it down on a paper and then memorize it

**Emmett: **Ok

* * *

**Rosalie signs on **

**Alice: **Rose thank goodness your here, i just had a vision and this summer the family is going to Paris . We need to go shopping

**Rosalie: **But Alice summer is 7 months away we have time

**Alice: **7 MONTHS ONLY ? thank goodness for my shopping skills, we need to get everything by the end of this week. OH Bellaaa....

**Bella: **NOOO Alice, please dont make me go with you

**Alice: **But it will be fun

**Emmett: **Yeah Bella stop being a party pooper and just go

**Bella: **Emmett shut up

**Alice: **Dont worry Emmett i got this, Bella if you come i'll let you choose your own bathing suit

**Bella: **Letting me choose my own bathing suit wont convince me to go

**Rosalie: **Bella if you don't go i swear i will make you clothes smell like fish

**Bella: **OK fine fine i'll go

**Alice: **Thanks Rose

**Rosalie: **No problem

**Alice: **OK starting tomorrow we will begin our shopping trip

**Emmett: **Stupid girls and shopping

**Jasper: **Emmett whats wrong with you ?

**Emmett: **I wanted to be the one to persuade Bella to go

**Edward: **Emmett its just a shopping trip, you can always get her to go on those

**Emmett: **But i wanted to do this one

**Bella: **Emmett stop being so stubborn

**Emmett: **Not untill im the one who persuaded you to be the one to go

**Alice: **Emmett there is going to be a thunderstorm in 1 hour which means

**Emmett: **BASEBALL !!

**Edward: **So you dont mind about not being the one to persuade Bella ?

**Emmett: **Persuade Bella what?

**Jasper: **Oh never mind lets play some baseball

* * *

**1 hour later **

**Jasper: **That was the best game ever even though Carlisle and Esme aren't here

**Emmett: **Yeah, well just tell them when they come back

**Rosalie: **I think i'm going to go cook for a little while

**Bella: **Rose we are vampires we dont need to eat human food why would you want to cook ?

**Rosalie: **I was watching TV and saw a cooking show and saw a recipe i want to try

**Alice: **Ok i just got a vision and so far it looks good, no burnt foor or kitchen

**Bella: **Who will eat the food though?

**Emmett: **OH i will pick me please pick me please

**Jasper: **Ok Emmett how about you?

**Emmett: **Oh im so happy you asked

**Edward: **Emmett your so weird

**Emmett: **I know, want to be weird with me?

**Edward: **Umm no thanks i'm good

**Emmett: **Ok Rose start cooking

**Rose: **Ok

* * *

**34 minutes later**

**Rosalie: **Ok done

**Emmett: **Mhhmmm, I see crunchy, chewy, slimy

**Edward: **So how is it?

**Emmett: **Tastes better than it looks

**Jasper: **What does it taste like?

**Emmett: **Chicken blood

**Bella: **Really?

**Emmett: **Yeah, do you want to try some?

**Bella: **No thanks im good

**Emmett: **Ok if you say so

**Jasper: **This has got to be the weirdest day ever

**Emmett: **Yeah but thats what this family is all about , Jasper i have a quick question

**Jasper: **Sure ask me anything

**Emmett: **Where do we live?

**Jasper: **Im Forks Emmett, freaking FORKS !!!

**Emmett: **I know i was just testing you

* * *

**AN/** **i hope you like it, tell me what you think. I had to fit like 6 different events in this chapter.**_PLEASE REVIEW _:)


	12. Truth Or Dare

**Chapter 12**

**AN, i would like to thank **AsweomePrincess** for the idea **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **hey, im bored lets play a game

**Jasper: **Sure,what game?

**Alice: **I know , were gonna play truth or dare

**Emmett: **I was about to say that

**Jasper: **Fine, Emmett what do you want to play?

**Emmett: **I dont know anything is fine

**Jasper: **Oh my god just say truth or dare

**Emmett: **Are you Esme?

**Jasper: **No....

**Emmett: **Then stop being a meanie and telling me what to do

**Alice: **Boys shut up we are going to play truth or dare

**Bella: **Nooo not that game, anything but that

**Edward: **I'm in, sounds like fun

**Rosalie: **I'm in too lets begin

**Bella: **I never get a say in this, fine i'm in too

**Alice: **Ok, i'll go first Emmett Truth or dare?

**Emmett: **Truth...no wait dare....no no i choose truth....but then i like dare ......but if i choose truth then it will vbe easy

**Edward: **JUST CHOOSE

**Emmett: **Ok i choose dare

**Alice: **Ok Emmett i dare you to Mike Newton's house, pretend your a pretty woman and then kiss him on the lips

**Emmett: **WHAT?! SHOULDNT THAT BE ILLEGAL?

**Alice: **Nope, now off you go

**Emmett: **Fine but if he kiss me back, im burning all your clothes

**Alice: **Fine now go

* * *

10 MINUTES LATER

**Emmett: **Alice say bye bye to your clothes

**Jasper: **What happened?

**Emmett: **I went to his house, acted like a pretty woman, kissed him and then he kissed me back and touched my ass

**Edward: **Hahaha you got touched by Newton

**Emmett: **Its not funny, he tastes like cheese

**Rosalie: **Babe i'm not kissing you until you get that taste out of your mouth

**Emmett: **Please woman you know im irresistible , you cant handle all of this

**Rosalie: **You wanna wait and see?

**Emmett: **No its fine ill go now

**Jasper: **Whipped

**Emmett: **I'm not whipped, Next

**Alice: **Emmett its your turn

**Emmett: **Oh right, ok Jasper truth or dare?

**Jasper: **Dare

**Emmett: **I dare you to go to Dunkin Donuts and order a sex on the beach

**Bella: **Isn't that a Margarita drink?

**Jasper: **What if they tell me to leave?

**Emmett: **Then scream out loud PLEASE GIVE ME A SEX ON THE BEACH and dont take no for an answer

**Jasper: **Fine

* * *

13 minutes later

**Jasper: **I'm back with a sex on the beach

**Rosalie: **HOW DID YOU DO THAT ?!

**Jasper: **Easy at first they wouldn't give it to me, but a 65 year old lady who works there stashes some of it in her purse and gave it to me

**Alice: **Thats weird

**Jasper: **Yeah, then she asked me out

**Alice: **JASPER YOU BETTER NOT HAVE SAID YES

**Jasper: **I said When hell becomes heaven and then ran

**Bella: **How awkward

**Jasper: **You have no idea, Ok my turn......hmm Rose Truth or dare?

**Rosalie:**Thats easy dare

**Emmett: **Ha thats my girl

**Jasper: **OK Rose i dare you to go to the salon and tell the stylist you want blue high lights

**Rosalie: **NO, i am not letting an un professional touch my beautiful hair, No way

**Jasper: **We'll if you dont do the dare then your have to cut your hair 3 inchs

**Rosalie: **Your a jerk, ill be back and after this Jasper your going to pay for this

* * *

34 minutes later

**Rosalie: **JASPER CULLEN YOU SUCK

**Alice: **Oh my god Rose your hair...its actually blue

**Bella: **Oh Rose, blue is not your color

**Rosalie: **DUHHH

**Edward: **What exactly happened ?

**Rosalie: **I went to the salon, told them i wanted blue high lights and they all looked at me like i was on crack. So i got it and now its done

**Jasper: **HAHAHA

**Rosalie: **Jasper your going to wish you never dared me

**Bella: **Ok Rose its your turn

**Rosalie: **Edward truth or dare?

**Edward: **Pfttt dare

**Rosalie: **I dare you to dress up like Ken, go to Lauren Mallory's house and sing i'm a barbie girl

**Edward: **NO NO NO NO

**Emmett: **Sorry bro you cant back out of a dare

**Edward: **This isnt a dare its torture

**Alice: **Edward you have to do it

**Edward: **FINE

* * *

18 minutes later

**Edward: **THAT WAS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER DONE !!!

**Emmett: **What did she do ?

**Edward: **Once i was done singing she told me to wait and then came back down in a "Malibu Barbie bikini"

**Emmett: **HAHAHAHAH

**Edward: **Its not funny

**Emmett: **Yes....It....is

**Edward: **OK Bella its your turn

**Bella: **Ok Alice i dare you to go into Macy's and ask for a bra size 3D

**Alice: **Bella, i'm 10x smaller than that

**Bella: **To bad Alice , maybe this is the last time you will think about messing wiht my clothes

**Alice: **Fine

35 minutes later

* * *

**Alice: **I'm back with the stupid monster bra

**Rosalie: **What happened exactly ?

**Bella: **We want details

**Alice: **I went to Macy's, asked them for a size 3D and then the sales clerks eyes almost popped out, It was so embarrassing

**Bella: **Oh Alice i'm so sorry

**Emmett: **Over all i think this game was a great idea

* * *

**AN, was it good ? bad? this was my first truth or dare chapter so i dont know if its good or not. thinking of the dares was hard ._ PLEASE REVIEW _**


	13. PARTY

**Chapter 13**

**AN**. **I would like to thank **14 J-chan **for giving me this idea, i wasnt sure at first but after 5 seconds i knew what i was going to write about**

**

* * *

**

**Esme signs on**

**Carlisle signs on **

**Bella signs on**

**Rosalie signs on **

**Alice signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**

* * *

  
**

**Esme: **Kids, Carlisle and i are going to Island Esme

**Carlisle: **Yes, so we would appreciate to come home to a clean home and not to be called by the police to bail you out ....especially you Emmett

**Emmett: **Why does everyone always assume i'm going to do something bad?

**Carlisle: **Because it's you Emmett, you burnt down the kitchen just by throwing a match in the sink, care to explain ?

**Emmett: **Well i just want to see if it would keep lit

**Esme: **And did it?

**Emmett: **No....

**Carlisle:** Exactly , which is why i put everyone els in charge except for Emmett

**Alice: **YAY sound fun to me

**Bella: **Have fun on your trip

**Rosalie: **Don't forget to call

**Jasper: **You wouldn't need to call, we are all responsible except for some people....Emmett

**Emmett: **Stop being mean to be, i am very responsible....Mom can you pretty please give me a chance?

**Esme: **Oh alright but just this once and Jasper stop being mean to Emmettt

**Jasper: **But i didnt even do anything this is so unfair

**Emmett: **Yeah Jasper stop being so mean

**Edward: **You two are so childish

**Jasper: **And your not ?

**Edward: **Nope not really

**Carlisle: **Kids anyways we are leaving now so no trouble

**Esme: **We'll be back soon bye

**Bella: **Bye

**Alice: **Bye

**Rosalie: **Bye

**Edward: **Bye

**Jasper: **Bye

**Emmett: **Bye Bye

* * *

**Esme signs out **

**Carlisle signs out **

**Emmett: **Ok now that the parents are gone time for a P-A-R-T-Y

**Bella: **Emmett what did Esme just say ?

**Emmett: **We'll be back soon bye?

**Jasper: **Noo not that, she said no trouble

**Edward: **I'm am not risking this just for you to have a party....

**Emmett: **Edward is pronounced P-A-R-T-Y

**Edward: **What ever i dont really care

**Emmett: **Do you? Do you really?

**Edward: **NO

**Emmett: **No need to yell , some whisper and some yell, your obviously a yeller

**Jasper: **Emmett shut up we are not having a party and thats final

**Emmett: **Who left and made you Dad?

**Jasper: **Carlisle

**Emmett: **He said we are all in charge

**Rosalie: **Boys it doesnt matter, Emmett no party or els your sleeping on the couch

**Emmett: **I dont sleep so HA

**Rosalie: **Fine, then no quickies on the bed for a month

**Emmett: **Your so cruel

**Rosalie: **Love you too

**Alice: **I actually want to party

**Bella: **What Alice?

**Alice: **We'll if we threw a party , then that would mean....SHOPPING

**Edward: **What is it with women and shopping ?

**Alice: **It calms us meanie

**Edward: **Well sorry i even asked

**Emmett: **So is that a yes for the P-A-R-T-Y?

**Jasper: **No, i think we should vote on this

**Emmett: **Fine,who thinks we should have the party? because i do

**Alice: **I do

**Bella: **So do i

**Jasper: **Well i dont

**Edward: **I dont either

**Rosalie: **I do

**Emmett: **Yeah time for a P-A-R-T-Y

**Alice: **We have to go shopping !!

**Bella: **Why so soon?

**Alice: **I just had a vision

**Rosalie: **And what did you see?

**Alice: **We are going to have the party in 6 hours

**Edward: **So in 6 hours we are going to have a trashed house?

**Emmett: **Exactly so get your party pants on and lets get ready

* * *

**6 Hours Later **

**Alice: **Is everything ready ?

**Bella: **Yep

**Rosalie: **Food?

**Bella: **Yep

**Alice: **Decorations?

**Rosalie: **Yep

**Bella: **Music?

**Alice: **Yep

**Emmett: **TIME TO P-A-R-T-Y

**Jasper: **I still think this is a horrible idea

**Edward: **If anything breaks dont blame it on me

**Emmett: **Just enjoy yourselves

* * *

**7 hours later **

**Emmett: **THAT WAS THE BEST PARTY EVER

**Alice: **Yeah, and we had the cutest outfits ever

**Rosalie: **Yeah, Alice where did you buy my top? Its so adorable

**Bella: **Yeah, i love my shoes, not too high , not too short, just perfect

**Alice: **I actually got it at Forever 21

**Bella: **Cute

**Emmett: **Now we just have to clean up before Esme and Carlisle come home

**Jasper: **Good luck with that

**Edward: **Yeah i want nothing in this

**Jasper: **Me either, i didn't even dance

**Emmett: **Oh really? Because i do remember you and Alice dancing

**Jasper: **Oh....right

* * *

**Esme signs on**

**Carlisle signs on **

**Esme: **WHY IS MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE A MESS ?!

**Carlisle: **KIDS YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION

**Emmett: **Mom, Dad what are you doing home so early ?

**Esme: **Thats not important now tell me who made this mess or els everyone is grounded for 1 month

**Jasper: **Emmett did it

**Edward: **Emmett

**Bella: **Emmett

**Alice: **Emmett

**Rosalie: **Emmett

**Emmett: **WHAT?! i will not be committed for something i didn't do

**Esme: **DID YOU ?!

**Emmett: **Yes mom

**Carlisle: **We are very disappointed in you Emmett, we even gave you another chance

**Emmett: **I know but the party was begging me to have it

**Esme: **That is no excuse

**Carlisle:** For your punishment, No video games for a month

**Emmett: **Thats so unfair

* * *

**Esme signs off**

**Carlisle signs off**

**Edward sign off**

**Bella signs off**

**Jasper signs off**

**Alice signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Jasper signs off**

**

* * *

AN. I hope its enough excitement fo you. I was positive that Emmett was the one to be blamed but do you tihnk he has had enough? maybe someone els should get in trouble, like seriously i think Emmett has like 1 year of no video games from my story. LOL _PLEASE REVIEW _  
**


	14. Authors Note: I need help

**I am having some trouble thinking of some ideas, i seriously have writers block. I can write my other stories just not this one. Can you please give me some ideas? It would help a lot Thx **


	15. Jacob gets an Aim and Emmett gets smart

**Chapter 15 **

**AN. SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING :( I would like to thank Killer-kay-kay for giving me part of this idea. Enjoy the chapter  
**

**

* * *

  
**

**Alice signs on **

**Bella signs on**

**

* * *

  
**

**Alice: **Hey Bella

**Bella:** Hey Alice

**Alice:** Do you want to go shopping?

**Bella: **No

**Alice:** I'll take that as a yes

**Bella: **Ok let me say it in a way you will understand, i dont wanna shop till i drop

**Alice: **Oh i get it, yeah we wouldnt want u to get injured since your a vampire and all

**Bella: **Alice shut up im not going and thats final

**Alice:** Well excuse me for wanting to spend time with you

**Bella:** Fine,we can go tomorrow....

**Alice:** Thank you so much Bella !!!!

**Bella:** Yeah yeah yeah

* * *

**Jacob signs on **

**Jacob: **Hey

**Bella: **Jacob why did you get an aim?

**Jacob: **Because everyone els has one but me

**Alice: **Someone feels lonely

**Jacob: **I DO NOT FEEL LONELY, IM A VERY BUSY PERSON

**Alice: **Yeah probably playing with your dolls

**Jacob: **I DONT HAVE DOLLS ,Bella tell the pixie to stop being mean

**Bella: **Alice there is no need to make Jacob feel bad about his manly ness

**Jacob: **Bella that was not helping and i have plenty of manly ness

**Bella: **But remember that time when you...

**Jacob: **BELLA YOU PROMISED NOT TO MENTION THAT AGAIN

**Alice: **Mention what? I wanna know, tell me

**Bella: **Its nothing important Alice just Jacob being the little boy he is

**Jacob: **I AM A MAN, A VERY MANLY MAN

**Bella: **Sure you are,is that why that time you...

**Jacob: **BELLA YOU PINKY SWORE YOU WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING

**Alice: ** i wanna know, tell me !!

**Jacob: **You stupid vampires are giving me a headache

**Alice: **Were smarter than you

**Bella: **And stronger

**Jacob: **I'm just gonna leave before i scare you off

**Alice: **Oh yeah I'm so afraid of the big bad wolf

**Jacob: **You should be

**Alice: **But i'm not, see how it all works out

**Bella: **Ok Alice i think we teased him enough were sorry Jacob

**Jacob: **Say that to my feelings, i'm out

* * *

**Jacob signs off **

**Alice: **Maybe Jacob isnt a morning person

**Bella: **Alice, its 4 in the afternoon

**Alice:** But isn't in doggy years its like 9 in the morning for them?

**Bella: **No, where did you learn that?

**Alice: **I was reading 17 magazine and they had a section honored to dogs

**Bella: **That is so weird yet interesting

**Alice: **Bella can you please...

**Bella: **Nope

**Alice: **YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY !!!

**Bella: **Yeah i do, your gonna say Bella can you please come with me to Victoria Secret

**Alice: **Well thats because i need you

**Bella: **For what ? you are capable of going by yourself and coming back out unharmed

**Alice: **I know that, but remember the last time we went into Victoria Secret?

**Bella: **You mean that one time when you saw the girl buy a polka dot bra and it didn't match her outfit so you jumped on her and that got us kicked out?

**Alice:** Yeah and i need you there to protect me and it wasn't my fault that she has bad taste in lingerie

**Bella: **Alice no one looks under there

**Alice: **Thats what you think

**Bella: **Eww i dont need a mental image

**Alice: **Are you sure? are you really sure?

**Bella: **YES !!!

**Alice: **Gosh no need to yell

* * *

**Jacob signs on **

**Jacob: **Ok i'm calm and relaxed but if anyone says something about my manly ness one.....

**Alice: **Jacob go away and play with your Barbie dolls

**Jacob: **I DONT HAVE ANY BARBIE DOLLS

**Alice: **Bella told me you did

**Bella: **ALICE !!!

**Jacob: **Bella you told her?

**Bella: **But I didn't.....

**Jacob:** I can never play with action figures without someone thinking they are Barbie dolls...im out

* * *

**Jacob signs off**

**Bella: **ALICE I DIDN'T SAY HE PLAYED WITH BARBIE DOLLS !!!

**Alice: **I know you didn't but its just so funny to see him mad

**Bella: **That's so cruel

**Alice: **I know ,now can you please...

**Bella: **NO

* * *

**Rosalie signs on**

**Emmett signs on **

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on **

**Alice: **Rosalie, thank goodness you signed on ,can you please go with me to Victoria Secret?

**Rosalie: **Yeah sure

**Alice: **Atleast someone is nice enough to go with me

**Bella: **Just go

**Alice: **I will and take pride doing it

**Rosalie: **Ok im really confused

**Emmett: **Its not really that hard, Alice and Bella are in a fight because the last time Alice went into Victoria Secret Alice jumped a girl who bought something that didn't match her outfit

**Edward: **HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THAT ?

**Jasper: **I just got here and have no idea what is happening

**Rosalie: **Emmett,should i be worried?

**Emmett: **Dudes...

**Rosalie: **Excuse me?

**Emmett: **And ladies

**Rosalie: **Thank you

**Emmett: **Anyways,Alice always goes shopping,loves Victoria Secret,and hates it when people don't match their clothes and Bella hates shopping,dislikes Victoria Secret and doesn't care whats on her on her body so obviously they are fighting about something that happened at Victoria Secret.

**Bella: **Wow thats is exactly what we are talking about

**Alice: **I taught you so well, i think i'm going to cry

**Emmett: **You taught me nothing pixie

**Jasper: **Then how did you get all smart?

**Edward: **Yeah, it would have to take a super genious to get you smart

**Emmett: **I read a magazine

**Rosalie: **YOU READ A MAGAZINE?!

**Emmett: **Yes, why is that so surprising to everyone?!!

**Bella: **Because its you

**Emmett: **And what is that suppose to mean?

**Bella: **It means you never read but the only time you do read is to check the listings for when The Wiggles and Blue's clues is going to be on

**Emmett: **That's because i need to keep up with the shows

**Edward: **Emmett maybe its time for you to retire from those shows

**Emmett: **YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, PEACE OUT SUCKERS

* * *

**AN. I'm so so so so sorry i didn't update in a long time. I just had a lot on my mind and i promise that you will get a new chapter everyday. I wanted to make this chapter funny and it turns out it was, well when i read it it was. Now its your turn ENJOY !! :)**


	16. 90210 and CROUTONS !

**Chapter 16 **

**Emmett signs on **

**Edward signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Alice: **OMG AHHHHH

**Emmett: **ALICE STOP DROP AND ROLL

**Alice: **I'm not on fire you idIot

**Emmett: **Well,sorry for ever caring

**Bella: **Emmett shut up, Alice whats wrong or what happened

**Alice: **Oh i was watching Tv and i just remembered the 90210 FINALE IS TONIGHT

**Rosalie: **OMG THATS TONIGHT ?

**Alice: **YEP

**Bella: **I almost forgot, yay i'm so excited i love that show

**Rosalie: **Me too

**Alice: **Yeah,my favorite character is Dixon ( for anyone who doesn't watch that show,Dixon is Annie's brother and Silver's boyfriend )

**Rosalie: **My favorite is Liam ( Liam is Naomi's bad boy crush and i think he is so hot :)

**Bella: **My favorite is Ethan ( Ethan is Annie's ex-boyfriend and Dixon's best friend ) and Rose of course you would go for the bad boys

**Edward: **Excuse me for interrupting this moment but who is 90210?

**Emmett: **90210 IS NOT A PERSON, ITS A SHOW AND YOU CALL ME AN IDIOT?

**Edward: **Well i don't watch that show so i wouldn't know

**Jasper: **Wait...Emmett you watch that show?

**Emmett: **No i don't, i know nothing of that person you speak of

**Edward: **Just 2 seconds ago you yelled at me for thinking it was a person !!

**Alice: **Emmett its ok,just tell them you watch it with us

**Emmett: **ALICE SHUT UP

**Jasper: **HAHA Emmett watches 90210

**Edward: **First kid shows and now girl shows?!!! hahaha

**Rosalie: **90210 is not a girl show, its a show for boys and girls

**Jasper: **I'm pretty sure only girls watch it and that includes you Emmett

**Emmett: **I'm not a girl and it happens to be a very interesting show

**Jasper: **EMMETT LOST HIS MANLY NESS !!!! .....owwww gosh Emmett that hurt

**Bella: **Jasper what did he do?

**Jasper: **He threw a crouton at me?

**Rosalie: **Emmett where the heck did you get a crouton ?!

**Emmett: **I found it in my shoe from lunch today

**Jasper: **EWWW YOU THREW A DIRTY CROUTON AT ME ?!!

**Emmett: **Yes, thats for making fun of my shows

**Jasper: **Well sorry but a crouton?

**Bella: **OMG DID SOMEONE MENTION A CROUTON?

**Alice: **Bella we have been talking about croutons for the past 2 minutes where have you been?

**Bella: **Well since we mentioned 90210 i was watching reruns of season 2

**Alice: **Well that does seem reasonable

**Bella: **Anyways, back to the crouton subject who has a crouton?

**Emmett: **I did but what does that have to do with anything ?

**Edward: **Yeah love its only a hard piece of bread coated in garlic and other things

**Bella: **When i was a human i loved eating croutons ( I put croutons because i was eating salad last night for dinner and i fell in love with them)

**Rosalie: **What did they taste like?

**Bella: **YOU'VE NEVER TASTED A CROUTON BEFORE ?!

**Rosalie: **No they weren't invented when i was human ( i really don't know if this is true or not but it seemed like it wasn't)

**Bella: **Well they are the best thing ever

**Alice: **Ok back to 90210, I'm so excited to see Adrianna's baby

**Rosalie: **Me too, finally her water broke

**Bella: **Yeah, but its so sad that she is giving it up for adoption

**Rosalie: **Yeah if it was me i would have kept the baby no matter how old i was

**Bella: **Yeah, but she wants whats best for the baby and if thats what she choose then its best

**Alice: **Yeah guess we'll just have to wait for tonight

**Rosalie: **I knoW, i'm already excited

**Jasper: **Emmett...

**Edward: **Women...

**Emmett: **I should have never told you guys i watch that show........meanies

* * *

**AN **I'M SO MEAN FOR NOT UPDATING , im sorry i have writers block, i know it isnt the best excuse but its true. Dont hate me too much i know i promised a new chapter everyday but i had so much to do it was hard. The reason why i choose 90210 to be the topic was cuz i was watching it yesterday and it was awesome. I kno it was on yesterday but lets just pretend the finale is tonight :) . Ok from now on if you don't see a chapter every 2 days that means i have writers block but will definitly post a new chapter the next day


	17. DrPhil and Pranks

**I've been gone for a while now and firstly i would like to thank to all the fantastic readers who have been reviewing this story even when i **

**wasn't planning on writing much. Secondly i would like to say i truly have been busy..my family is taking a trip to Florida, School is ending on**

** Monday, saying bye to all my friends, and much more i just couldn't get time out of my schedule to write a couple of chapters but i will try to**

** write 2 chapters a day before the 29th which is the day i am going to Florida and I wont be having a computer with me, unless my dad is**

** nice enough to lend me his but i doubt it**...**If anyone has any idea for the future chapters i would gladly take any suggestions**.** I always take**

** your anyone's ideas seriously.**

* * *

Chapter 17

**Alice signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Alice:** EMMETT !!!!!

**Emmett: **What little pixie?! I'm next door you don't have to scream

**Alice: **Yeah, well i need your help

**Emmett: **With what? I'm occupied right now

**Alice: **Your in the bathroom?

**Emmett: **NOO I MEANT I'M BUSY

**Alice: **Well is that so nice to treat your favorite sister?

**Emmett: **My favorite sister is Bella

**Bella: **HELL YEAH

**Edward: **Bella, when did you learn that?

**Bella: **Emmett

**Edward: **EMMETT WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?

**Emmett: **Well stop yelling at me.. i'm suffering from unintelligent disease

**Jasper: **Correction..there is no such thing

**Emmett: **YES THERE IS !!! I GOOGLED IT

**Edward: **Yes well obviously it didnt give you the right definition

**Alice: **BOYS, shut up ...Emmett why is Bella your favorite and i'm not?

**Emmett: **Well cause you scream at me, tell me to do stuff for you, make me carry your shopping bags and more

**Alice:** And Bella doesn't do that?

**Emmett: **Nope not really

**Alice: **Yes well i hope your glad...you hurt my feelings

**Emmett: **Well non of this would have happened if you were nicer to me

**Alice: **Fine..I'm sorry

**Emmett: **Is that a sincere apology?

**Alice: **Yes

**Emmett: **Apology accepted

**Rosalie: **Guys this is so sappy can we talk about something fun?

**Alice: **Rose !! Emmett and i were having a brother sister moment

**Rosalie: **Who cares..you two have forever for those, i didnt get an aim just to watch some Dr .Phil cullen version

**Alice: **Eww gross who watches ? ( If you watch and like it..sorry about this, i've never watched and never really liked it :\ )

**Bella: **I know right...But it is nice to get paid just for helping people with their problems

**Jasper: **Yeah...hey i got a fun idea we can do..anyone in?

**Emmett: **Jasper? You just thought of something fun to do?

**Jasper: **You act so surprised

**Emmett: **Cause I am little bro finally your a Cullen

**Jasper: **I was always a Cullen...just never a fun Cullen

**Edward: **So you said you have an idea?

**Jasper: **Yeah, We should totally play ding dong ditch

**Emmett: **That is the most stupidest....actually that is a very good idea

**Jasper: **IT HAPPENS TO BE A VERY......what did you just say it was a good idea?

**Emmett: **Yes but lets play Ding Dong Ditch Cullen version

**Bella: **What did you have in mind?

**Emmett: **Well we go to the victim's house and mess with their heads and first we should take it easy and just make it look like they were seeing things but then when its time we should Ding Dong Ditch their house and when they see that no one is there they are gona be so scared...they're gonna pee their pants.

**Edward: **Not a bad idea....we should do it on NEWTON

**Bella: **Guys do you really think that is nice?

**Alice: **Bella live a little and have some fun

**Bella: **But he never really did anything to us

**Rosalie: **Except ask you out 5 million times

**Edward: **Don't even talk about Newton asking out Bella...lets go before i feel bad for him

**1 hour later **

**Emmett: **Ohhhh that was classic

**Jasper: **Yeah, I actually had fun

**Edward: **HE ACTUALLY PEED HIMSELF

**Alice: **I love it when he took out the tennis racket and started beating the teddy bear with it when he thought it was talking

**Rosalie: **Haha no that was the 2nd best part, i loved it when he punched the door cause he thought it kicked his butt

**Bella: **Ok guys enough fun

**Emmett: **Bella did you at all enjoy it?

**Bella: **No i thought it was cruel

**Alice: **Bella...i do remember you trowing rocks at his head

**Bella: **Ok i did enjoy it...A LOT

**Emmett: **I knew it...Jasper great job bro you actually thought of something fun

**Jasper: **I know

* * *

A/N I hope you enjoyed that chapter as much as i enjoyed think and typing about it. Tell me what you think and don't forget about giving me ideas !!!


	18. Niga Higa

I wanna say that this is a chapter that i hope everyone would be familiar with and i had a wonderful time writing it.

* * *

Chapter 18

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice signs on **

**Bella: **OMG !!!!

**Alice: **Bella save the purses !!!

**Rosalie: **No leave the purses save the shoes !!!

**Emmett: **Leave all of those...just save my video games

**Bella: **Guys shut up...theres no fire or a burglar

**Jasper: **Then what was with the screaming?

**Bella: **NIGA HIGA !!!!

**Alice: **Ummm whats that?

**Emmett: **Is it a name of a mushroom?

**Bella: **Nooo Eww...its a guy from you tube

**Jasper: **Whats you tube?

**Bella: **Seriously Jasper you need to go online more often..its a website made to watch and create any video you wanted

**Alice: **Back to the topic about a " Niga higa?

**Bella: **Oh yeah...He is so amazingly funny, i just watching his version of Twilight and it was so hilarious ( I actually did watch the video and thought it was funny)

**Edward: **Does he make anymore videos?

**Bella: **Yeah tons

**Alice: **Well Bella if you say he is funny..i'll check out the video myself

**Bella: **Its so funny your gonna want to watch other ones too !!

**Emmett: **Bella i really think you should back away from the computer

**Bella: **Why would you say that?

**Emmett: **Your a little addicted to this person

**Bella: **I am not !!!

**Emmett: **If you say so

**Edward: **Bella just promise me one thing

**Bella: **And whats that love?

**Edward: **Don't get too attached to this guy

**Bella: **I'm not attached to this guy...plus he has a girlfriend

**Edward: **Just be careful i dont believe guys online

**Emmett: **OHH EDDIE BOY GETTING JEALOUS

**Edward: **Emmett shut up

**Emmett: **Make me

**Edward: **Just shut up

**Jasper: **Can you two just stop? your making my emotions go crazy !!!

**Edward: **Sorry Jasper

**Emmett: **Yeah sorry

**Alice: **OMG AHHH

**Jasper: **Alice darlin are you hurt?

**Alice: **NO, but AHHHH

**Jasper: **Why are you screaming ?

**Alice: **CAUSE NIGA HIGA ROCKS

**Bella: **OH YEAH

**Alice: **He is so hilarious, i love his video

**Bella: **I told you so !!!

**Rosalie: **OMG OMG AHHHH

**Emmett: **Babe save the video games..i cant live without my SpongeBob

**Rosalie: **Excuse me?

**Emmett: **What did i say wrong?

**Jasper: **You idiot

**Emmett: **What did i do?

**Rosalie: **Save the video games?

**Emmett: **Yeah..

**Rosalie: **I can't live without my SpongeBob?

**Emmett: **Well yeah but what does that have to do with...Oh my

**Rosalie: **Emmett Cullen You are so lucky Bella introduced me to Niga Higa or els i would be ripping your head of this minute and burning it in the fire

**Emmett: **I'm sorry I wasn't thinking

**Rosalie: **Obviously

**Alice: **Hey you two break it off...Rose, Bella and i'll take you shopping tomorrow for a girls day out

**Rosalie: **Alright

**Edward: **Emmett we'll egg the neighbor's houses

**Emmett: **OHH YESS

* * *

A/N I would like to give a shout out to all those Niga Higa fans woot woot, this chapter was made especially for you guys cause i dont really

remember anyone who has made a Twilight Fanfict chapter dedicated to Niga Higa...so i just wanted to give it a try...and to those who doesnt

know who he is , YOUTUBE IT. Your gonna thank me. Review cause i wanna know all those fans out there and what you think !!! REVIEW REVIEW

REVIEW


	19. WOOF & Whipped

I'm so tired right now even though its only 4 pm in the after noon..i went to bed at 1 yesterday cause i was watching a movie and now i feel like a

zombie , I'm even went to sleep during school in my L.A class. I'm trying so hard not to fall asleep right now because i promised every one that

they were gonna get 2 chapters today and plus i also have to write another chapter for " Thanks For The Memories" then i will sleep but until then

i'm gonna need all the help i can get....I need reviews , so it will motivate me to keep writing more for you guys Dont forget to suggest any ideas

for me !!!

* * *

Chapter 19

**Emmett signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Jacob signs on**

**Jacob: **Hey,hows my favorite Vampire family?

**Emmett: **Woof Woof

**Jacob: **Huh?

**Emmett: **Woof Woof

**Bella: **Emmett

**Alice: **What

**Rosalie: **Are

**Jasper:** You

**Edward: **Doing?

**Emmett: **You didn't get my joke?

**Jasper: **That was a joke?

**Emmett: **Shut up

**Jasper: **No you shut up

**Emmett: **Your the one who doesn't know a good joke

**Jasper: **NO ONE UNDERSTOOD YOUR JOKE

**Edward: **Boys break it up...must you two fight every time?

**Emmett: **Yes

**Jasper: **Of course

**Edward: **Why do i even bother....

**Jacob: **HELLO a little confused over here

**Emmett: **Woof Woof

**Bella: **Emmett what exactly is ur joke suppose to mean?

**Emmett: **Well everyone knows how Jacob is a wolf right?

**Rosalie: **Yes

**Bella:** Yeah

**Alice: **Mhhmm go on

**Emmett: **And wolves say Woof Woof

**Jacob: **Dogs say Woof Woof...us wolves say Grrr

**Emmett: **What ever floats your manly ness

**Jacob: **I am manly..cause im a wolf and they are BIG and SCARY

**Emmett: **And people call me weird?

**Edward: **Both of you are weird

**Emmett: **Your the one who listens to Clissical music

**Jasper: **Classical is spelled with 1 i not 2

**Emmett: **Are you the human dictionary?

**Jasper: **No

**Emmett: **Then dont correct my grammer, if i wanna spell clissical with 2 i then i will

**Bella: **BOYS YOUR GIVING ME A HEADACHE

**Edward: **I'm sorry love would you like me to get you anything?

**Bella: **Some deer blood would be nice

**Edward: **Alright ill be back shortly

**Emmett: **Dude you are so whipped

**Bella: **Emmett shut up

**Jacob: **Jeez this family is hectic

**Emmett: **WO...

**Rosalie: **EMMETT CULLEN YOU BETTER NTO SAY WOOF WOOF

**Emmett: **Awww Rose, but i enjoy saying it though

**Rosalie: **Would you enjoy having no sex for 3 months?

**Emmett: **Alright i won't say it anymore

**Bella: **YEAH ROSE

**Alice: **TAKE CONTROL

**Rose: **Hehe i know i'm good

**Jasper: **Emmett you are so whipped

**Emmett: **Shut up just because your girlfriend is a pixie it means your whipped too

**Jasper: **No i'm not, i got control

**Alice: **Excuse me?

**Emmett: **Ohhh Jasper is getting in trouble !!!

**Jasper: **Alice darlin i meant to say that we both have control in the relationship

**Alice: **I specifically heard you say you have the control

**Jasper: **No i didnt...I said I got a new bathrobe

**Alice: **Good, i'm glad we fixed this misunderstanding

**Jasper: **Whew that was a close one

**Alice: **WHAT DID YOU SAY?

**Jasper: **I said whoa that was a cool one !!

* * *

A/N hope you thought it was funny !! only 2 more days of school yay !! woot woot Review review review


	20. Canceled

Yay another chapter up .... hope you are all satisfied !!! ..I am horrible at author notes just read the story : )

* * *

Chapter 20

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Emmett: **NO NO NO NO

**Bella:** Emmett are you ok?

**Emmett: **NO NO NO

**Alice: **What happened?

**Emmett: **NO NO NO

**Rosalie: **Emmett just shut up and tell us what happened

**Emmett: **THEY CANCELED.....

**Rosalie: **Yes....

**Emmett: ** THE WIGGLES !!! MY LIFE IS RUINED

**Edward: **Yes finally !!!!

**Jasper: **Oh yes !

**Alice: **That's wonderful !!

**Bella: **The best news i have heard yet

**Emmett: **YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST SO CRUEL !!!

**Edward: **Emmett i think the show being canceled is a sign

**Emmett: **The show didn't have a sign

**Jasper: **Oh my HE MEANT THAT CANCELING THE SHOW WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

**Emmett: **And what would that be?

**Jasper: **That your a grown man who still watches kids shows

**Emmett: **They are kids shows they are very educational

**Alice: **All they do is sing and dance

**Emmett: **They also teach you stuff

**Bella: **Oh really Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yes really

**Edward: **Then name 1 thing that you learned

**Emmett: **I learned a song !!!

**Jasper: **Like?

**Emmett: **THE HOT POTATO SONG !!

**Rosalie: **Oh my goodness..this is getting us no where

**Edward: **Emmett the show is gonna forever just forget about it

**Emmett: **NEVER !!!

**Jasper: **Emmett was the show really important to you?

**Emmett: **Yes..

**Alice: **Well cheer up there are plenty of other shows that you will like

**Emmett: **But The Wiggles had a pirate and a parrot, I don't think any other shows have that

**Edward: **Yes they do, you just have to find them

**Emmett: **So now i have to use my brain?

**Alice: **Yeah..if you want to find another show like it then start getting your brain working

**Emmett:** Well i guess it wont be that bad and i did record most ot the episode

**Jasper: **Thats the spirit Emmett

**Bella: **Yes, we are all proud of you !!!

**Edward: **Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yes Eddie?

**Edward: **Firstly dont call me Edward... ever and secondly which wiggle was your favorite?

**Emmett: **I'm going to have to go with the red one

**Edward: **Why?

**Emmett: **Cause Red is cool !!!

* * *

A/N Chapter ideas? What ever it is i'll take it and dont worry you will be thanked in the next chapter


	21. Gucci

Well i got some things to say..lets see where to start ok.. i got some really good reviews but i was aiming for more and that's ok, i know some peoples just read the stories and don't review and that's ok but i would LOVE to thank the following people for the rockin reviews

My fans :)

**chinguun1999** ---- I love your reviews..they always make me smile and it motivates me to keep it up and for reviewing my other stories

**Arthur-Morgana Forever** ---- Thanks for the Idea..its still in work but it will definitely be in the next chapter

**Smyle4Lyfe**------ I really love your idea and it is also being worked on and will be up soon :)

**CullenNumber10**---- When i read your review..i was laughing because your review was so funny..i could see why your family thought you were crazy lols if my family thought i was laughing for no reason i'm sure i would have gotten some weird looks

**iregretit**----Your review made me speechless lols and for that YOU ROCK !!

SO THOSE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE I WANT TO THANK...FOR REVIEWING AND READING and this is the reason why i keep writing

* * *

Chapter 21

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice: **Hey Bella, Hey Rose

**Bella: **Hey Alice

**Rosalie: **Hey

**Edward: **What about me?

**Alice: **What about you?

**Edward: **No hi?

**Alice: **Nope

**Edward: **Why?

**Alice: **Cause you burnt my Gucci Shoes and for that you don't get a hi

**Rosalie:** You didn't !!!

**Alice: **OH YES HE DID

**Edward: **It was an accident

**Alice: **Sure it was but you still brunt them

**Bella: **Love THAT'S A HORRIBLE THING TO DO

**Edward: **BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

**Bella: **I don't care say sorry

**Jasper: **Yeah Edward say sorry

**Edward: **Jasper where did you come from?

**Jasper: **I was here the whole time, i just didn't want to say anything

**Bella: **Edward just say sorry, you know how important these things are to Alice

**Edward: **Fine im sorry Alice

**Alice: **Yeah, say sorry to the shoes

**Edward: **I cant...

**Alice: **And why not Edward?

**Edward: **Cause they are gone

**Alice: **EXACTLY CAUSE THEY ARE GONE

**Rosalie: **Woah scary Alice

**Jasper: **Darlin your making my emotions go crazy

**Alice: **I'm sorry but this is what it had to come to...Edward didn't have to burn the shoes but he did

**Edward: **It was an accident!!!

**Alice: **I don't care,,You don't see me burning your Cd's

**Edward: **Alice i'm sorry

**Alice: **Apology accepted but i miss my shoes...

**Edward: ** Just buy some new ones..they are the same

**Alice: **I cant !!

**Edward: **Why?

**Alice: **Cause they only made 2

**Bella: **Who has the other one?

**Alice: **Ashley Greene ( to anyone who wonders why i choose this person its cause Ashley Greene plays Alice in Twilight,,You get it?? LOLs)

**Rosalie: **That Twilight chick ?

**Alice: **Yeah

**Rosalie: **Then lets get it from her

**Bella: **How?

**Rosalie: **Well Bella you can grab her feet and i can take care of her face while Alice gets the shoes

**Bella: **ROSE MUST IT ALWAYS BE VIOLENCE WITH YOU?

**Rosalie: **Yeah pretty much

**Alice: **The plan won't work

**Jasper: **How do you know?

**Alice: **Cause i saw the future and we got caught

**Edward: **ALICE I'M SO SORRY

**Alice: **.......

**Bella: **Alice

**Alice: **Omg sorry but i was looking through a catalog and they have these brand new Prada shoes..let go get them !!!

**Rosalie: **Wow you bounce back fast

* * *

**A/N **Gope you enjoyed it..i was taking a shower and the idea just came to me...having a shower is definitly the best way to think of ideas..if it worked for me then it will work for you !!


	22. Esme vs Carlisle

I just came back from the movies..from watching the movie YEAR ONE and it was AWESOME....i do recommend watching that movie, Its hilarious and romantic...Michael Cera and Jack Black are Tremendous actors. To anyone who has not seen it yet, GET UP AND GO WATCH IT..ITS WORTH IT..

Anywho i would like to thank Arthur-Morgana Forever for giving me the idea and to anyone els who has any idea i would gladly have them in the next chapter :)

* * *

Chapter 22

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Jasper signs on **

**Alice signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Esme signs on**

**Carlisle signs on**

**

* * *

  
**

**Carlisle: **ALICE!!!

**Alice: **Yes Daddy?

**Carlisle: **Don't yes daddy me,you have some explaining to do !!!

**Emmett: **Ohhh Alice is in trouble

**Alice: **Emmett shut up...Daddy what do you mean?

**Carlisle: **The bill came...You bought $1,000,000 worth of shoes !!! (i know i'm exaggerating on this but,it could happen and i couldn't think of anything els)

**Alice: **WHAT? I DIDN'T BUY THAT MUCH

**Carlisle: **Well who ever bought all of these shoes have some explaining to do

**Bella:** It wasn't me

**Rosalie: **Wasn't me either....JASPER?

**Jasper: **Why would you assume it was me? !!

**Rosalie: **I don't know..your name was the first thing i thought of sheesh

**Jasper: **Well it wasn't me

**Edward: **It wasn't me either

**Carlisle: **EMMETT?!!

**Emmett: **Whoa there..i didn't buy that..I don't even like shopping for my own clothes

**Carlisle: **It was obviously someone in this house and until we find out..everyone is grounded

**Emmett: **BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!

**Alice: **Me too !!!

**Rosalie: **So do i!!

**Bella: **Same here !!

**Emmett: **We have so much money it will last us for eternity

**Edward: **Yeah why is it a problem now?

**Carlisle: **Because even though we have all this money..we can't be going around places and spend this much

**Esme: **Carlisle don't be so harsh on the kids

**Carlisle: **And why not?

**Esme: **Because i bought the shoes

**Emmett: **WooHoo MOM IS A REBEL !!

**Alice: **Mom i taught you well...

**Carlisle: **Esme why would you need this much shoes?

**Esme: **Well i was shopping around and just saw these shoes and had to have them

**Alice: **Were they designer shoes?

**Esme: **Yes

**Alice:** Omg who were the from?

**Esme: **Marc Jacobs

**Alice: **O

**Rosalie: **M

**Bella: **G

**Alice: **HOW MANY DID YOU BUY?

**Esme: **4, 1 for each of my girls and myself

**Alice: **AHHH THANK YOU MOM

**Rosalie: **THANKS !!

**Bella: **Thank you so so much !!!

**Esme: **You welcome !!

**Carlisle: **Woah there...Esme honey did you even bother to look at the price?

**Esme: **Yes,I know it was a lot but it was a must have

**Carlisle: **We can't spend money like this...

**Esme: **And why not?

**Carlisle: **Because i'm the man of the house and i'm the working parent ( i know Carlisle doesn't act ke this but the was the only way to make the chapter interesting)

**Esme: **WHAT?!

**Emmett: **YEAH GO DAD !!

**Jasper: **Yeah WOO HOO

**Bella: **What?!

**Esme: **Well I DO REMEMBER BEING AN INTERIOR DESIGNER

**Carlisle: **Thats just a hobby

**Rosalie: **Oh no you didn't

**Esme: **My job is very well paid

**Edward: **THIS IS ENOUGH,BOTH OF YOU ARE VERY WELL PAID PARENTS AND SHOULD EQUALY SPEND THE MONEY

**Carlisle: **Edward is right, we are both grown ups arguing like children, truths?

**Esme: **Truths..and next time i won't spend as much

**Carlisle: **Thats all i ask for

* * *

A/N Tell me what you think...i wasn't so sure if i made it good or not


	23. important authors note

Hey there, my keyboard is broken, so im basically copying and pasteing every single letter on this authors note, but im getting a new keyboard tomorrow. Im probally gonna write 2 chapters for **Cullen Aim** and possibly 1 chapter for **Thanks For The Memories**. Thanks for all your support.


	24. Edward The Devil

OMG finally school is out for me !!! YAY summer time...I would like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to all the reviews i got..i started to cry when i

opened my inbox...i would love to thank everyone who read and reviewed many of the past chapters and to people who said i was funny, i didn't

know i was that funny so thank you. An one more thing SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER WAS AWESOME !!! i cried,laughed,and was

mesmerized by the episode give me your feed back on what you think !!!!

This chapter is dedicated to Smyle4Lyfe for giving me the idea...Thank you so sit back and enjoy the chapter

* * *

Chapter 24

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice signs on **

**Emmett: **EVERYONE STOP DROP AND ROLL

**Bella: **Wheres the emergency ?!

**Alice: **NOO i have to save my prada !!!

**Emmett: **SOMEONE DECIDED TO MESS WITH MY VIDEOS OF THE WIGGLES !!!!

**Jasper: **Hahaha

**Emmett: **You think this is funny ?!

**Jasper: **Yeah kinda

**Edward: **I wonder who would do such a thing

**Alice: **Yeah what devious person would have the authority to mess with your Wiggles tapes

**Emmett: **I have a very good feelings its one of you guys

**Jasper: **No durr Sherlock

**Emmett: **Are you calling me stupid?

**Jasper: **Yeah..i kinda am

**Emmett: **JASPER

**Jasper: **Chill bro i didn't do it

**Alice: **I didn't do it either

**Rosalie:** Neither did i

**Emmett: **I know who is was..

**Bella: **Who?

**Emmett: **IT WAS EDWARD !!!

**Edward: **Haha finally you figured it out

**Jasper: **Nice one bro..i didn't even think of it

**Alice: **Wait..Emmett how do you know Edward did it?

**Emmett: **It says Edward in big letters on the back of the tape...

**Bella: **And you couldn't see that before?!

**Emmett: **Well i was kinda focused on finding out who did it

**Alice: **I'm surprised i couldn't think of it in the first place

**Emmett: **ALRIGHT EVERYONE..LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD NO ONE MESSES WITH MY VIDEOS

**Bella: **Emmett I just threw out your copy of The Blues Clues

**Emmett: **BELLA THAT WAS NEW

**Bella: **It was from 2 years ago !!!

**Emmett: **Its new to me

**Jasper: **WOAH WAIT...Edward what exactly did you do to Emmett's video of The Wiggles?

**Edward: **Well since you asked...I erased the red guy which i don't know his name out of the entire video

**Emmett: **NO NOT THE RED ONE

**Rosalie: **Whats so great about the red one?

**Emmett: **I don't know i just like the color of his shirt..

**Bella: **Thats the most stupidest reason to like a character

**Emmett: **That was so low..on so many levels

**Edward: **I'm sorry bro but it had to be done

**Emmett: **Nothing had to be done but you just had to do it

**Edward: **Emmett your a grown up vampire who still watches The Blues Clues and The Wiggles

**Emmett: **Whats your point?

**Jasper: **Hold on Edward i got this...EMMETT GET OVER THESE SHOWS I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY STILL EXIST

**Emmett: ......**

**Rosalie: **Babe are you crying?

**Emmett: **NO !! maybe..

**Alice: **Awww Emmett don't cry

**Bella: **Yeah if it makes you feel better i can get back your tape..the one i threw out

**Emmett: **No its...ok..i..was..gonna..throw...those..out..anyways

**Bella: **EDWARD SAY SORRY

**Edward: **WHAT?! 2 minutes ago you were yelling at him to get over Blues Clues !!!

**Bella: **I DON'T CARE SAY SORRY

**Alice: **Yeah you too Jasper

**Jasper: **What ?! this is so not fair

**Alice: **Would you like me to throw out one of your books?

**Bella: **And Edward would you like it if i threw out one of your CDs?

**Jasper: **Well no

**Edward: **Not really

**Bella: **THEN

**Alice: **APOLOGIZE

**Edward: **Emmett i'm sorry bro

**Jasper: **Yeah me too

**Emmett: **Its alright

* * *

A/N heheh i hope you liked it...i thought it was pretty funny


	25. SEX

I don't know why i do these author notes but i always have something to say...so let me being with this chapter was unusual for me because i

didn't think i would ever have a topic about this but it was requested so i had to try it out and there is always a first for everything...i hope you

enjoy it, i tried not to make it look rated R so enjoy

I would like to thank WeirdKailey for giving me this idea

* * *

Chapter 25

**Emmett signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward signs on **

**Emmett: **Finally the girls aren't online

**Jasper: **Yeah,i'm surprised they can actually stay off the computer

**Edward: **By the way,where are they?

**Jasper: **Alice took Rose and Bella on another shopping trip

**Emmett: **Didn't they just go 2 days ago?

**Jasper: **Yeah but in Alice's word "You can never have too much clothes"

**Emmett: **I will never understand the way a woman thinks

**Edward: **Yeah me either, 1minute they are all happy and the next they are mad

**Emmett: **Yeah i know right, the other day Rose was wearing a pretty shirt and i told her that it fitted her curves perfectly she smiled at first but then slapped me

**Jasper: **Thats because when you say things like that girls always think they are fat

**Edward: **I don't care how they think i will just never understand how they can be so girly

**Emmett: **Yeah first the makeup,then the hair and then the outfit

**Edward: **I know what you mean..i'll i do is put on some pants,a shirt,shoes and run my hands through mu hair and waa la im done

**Emmett: **Hey,Edward when was the last time you and Bella did it?

**Edward: **Emmett why would youi ever ask me that?

**Emmett: **I'm a curious person

**Jasper: **Emmett..I have no words to describe you

**Emmett: **How about strong,intelligent,and sexy

**Edward: **Intelligent?

**Jasper: **Sexy?

**Emmett: **Yeah, well maybe not intelligent but definitely sexy

**Jasper: **Sure what ever you say

**Edward: **Yeah good luck with that

**Emmett: **Woah bro you are not getting out of this conversation..now when was the last time you and Bella did it?

**Edward: **I will not answer that

**Emmett: **AWWW LITTLE EDDIE KINZ DIDN'T DO IT WITH BELLA YET !!

**Jasper: **Emmett stop harassing Edward

**Emmett: **Its not my fault Edward didn't get laid yet (and for anyone who doesn't know what getting laid means...it means having sex but just a different word)

**Edward: **Actually Bella and I had sex last night...

**Bella signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella: **Edward !!!

**Edward: **Yes love?

**Emmett: **Oh Edward is in trouble

**Rosalie: **Emmett shut up this is between them two..Bella proceed

**Bella: **Thank you Rose...Edward why would you talk to the boys about our sex life?

**Edward: **Cause..he wouldn't stop making fun of me about it and he called me EDDIE KINZ !!!

**Bella: **And that makes it ok to tell him?

**Edward: **I don't know what els to say except for i'm sorry

**Bella: **Fine..your lucky your sexy

**Edward: **I'm glad you understand (imagine Edward saying this in a seductive tone)

**Emmett: **Edward isn't sexy he is...there isn't even a word to describe him

**Rosalie: **Babe just shut up and let them have their moment

**Emmett: **But..

**Rosalie: **No buts now shut it

**Bella: **Its my fault

**Edward: **For what love?

**Bella: **We barley do it and i know you can control yourself but i also know is hard for you (btw this is still when Bella is a human)

**Edward: **Its ok

**Bella: **No its not..i feel horrible

**Edward: **Well i know how you can make me feel better

**Bella: **Oh really?

**Edward: **Yes really

**Alice: **Ewww i don't want to read about you guy wanting to do it

**Bella: **Well Edward um i think i left something my CD in your room..i'm coming to get it

**Edward: **Yeah..the CD with the cool cover, i'll be there

**Bella signs off**

**Edward signs off**

**

* * *

A/N I need some help with some ideas...i seem to do chapters faster when ideas are given to me so if anyone has any ideas please dont hesitate to help me out !!!  
**


	26. I need helpAuthors Note srry

Chapter 26

I need help...would anyone like to give me some ideas? I've been having writers block for the past 30 minutes and i can't think of anything to write

about. And i'm really pissed off about it...I JUST NEED SOME IDEAS AHHH, so if anyone has something they would like to see happen in the next

chapter just tell me...and hurry i don't know how much longer i can wait

The more ideas i get the faster i can proceed with the chapters and don't forget i can only write until the 29th cause I'm going to Florida but i am also

going to

my aunt's house for a road trip so i don't know when i might get back and i want to get as many chapter out there as possible


	27. Avalanche

Ok imma just start off by saying I WATCHED TRANSFORMERS 2 AND IT WAS AWESOME !!!! Ok i would love to thank everyone for giving me some

ideas for the future chapters and now i can post the chapters faster so thanks to everyone who helped out .

I would like to thank Twilightgrl4ever for this idea...and i would like to thank HateMikeNewton for reviewing almost every chapter ...I love everyone

who reads and reviews my story so your all unforgettable

* * *

Chapter 27

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Esme signs on **

**Carlisle signs on **

**

* * *

  
**

**Emmett: **Woo Hoo

**Esme: **Emmett is everything alright?

**Emmett: **Everything is perfect !!

**Alice: **YEAH FOR YOU

**Esme: **Alice what happened?

**Rosalie: **EMMETT CULLEN

**Esme: **Rose what happened?

**Bella: **EMMETT UGH

**Esme: **Bella are you alright?

**Edward: **Emmett you better run !!!

**Esme: **Edward what happened?

**Jasper: **Emmett your going down !!!

**Carlislie:** SOMEBODY TELL YOUR MOTHER WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE SOMEONE GETS GROUNDED

**Alice: **I will do the honors

**Esme: **Ok Alice you may begin

**Alice: **Well mom..the 6 of us decided to go snowboarding and skiing,so everything was going fine until your _son_ decided to make an AVALANCHE

**Esme: **EMMETT CULLEN !!!

**Emmett: **Yes mommy?

**Esme: **Don't yes mommy me,How could you make an avalanche in such a public place where families snowboard and ski?

**Emmett: **Those families needed a spice in their life anyways,so they are probably thanking me

**Carlisle: **Emmett you can't be going around places and making avalanches out of no where

**Emmett: **Well everyone els enjoyed them selves

**Alice: **Yeah i was enjoying myself

**Emmett: **I told you all so

**Alice: **UNTIL YOU RUINED MY HAIR

**Emmett: **The little pixie doesn't count !!

**Rosalie: **I had a pretty good time...UNTIL THE AVALANCHE WHICH RUINED MY OUTFIT

**Emmett: **Babe,that avalanche was for you

**Rosalie: **Then that was the worst present ever !!!!

**Emmett: **OK, Bella that avalanche was for you

**Bella: **Emmett don't even dare bringing me into this..I'm mad at you too

**Emmett: **WHAT DID I DO?

**Bella: **YOU CREATED AN AVALNCHE

**Emmett: **Oh right i forgot

**Bella: **I'm not surprised

**Emmett: **What is that suppose to mean?

**Alice: **Bella i got this...IT MEANS YOUR STUPID

**Emmett: **WELL YOUR JUST A SMALL MEANIE

**Alice: **I don't care..you ruined my hair,I ruin your feelings

**Emmett: **Wait...Edward you had fun right?

**Edward: **YEAH

**Bella: **Excuse me?

**Edward: **I mean...Emmett you ruined a perfectly good family day for us

**Emmett: **You just told me that you enjoyed it

**Edward: **Yeah we'll that's called changing my mind

**Emmett: **No its called your whipped

**Jasper: **Emmett...sometimes you need to stop and think before you do

**Emmett: **Well that explains why i'm the only fun one in the family

**Esme: **Alright everyone all in favor of Emmett getting grounded for 3 weeks say i

**Edward: **i

**Bella: **i

**Alice: **i

**Jasper: **i

**Rosalie: **i

**Carlisle: **i

**Esme: **Emmett your grounded for 3 weeks with no Tv or Video games

**Emmett: **YOU ARE ALL CRUEL

* * *

A/N Was it funny enough? did you get a good laugh? was it good? _REVIEW !!!_


	28. Since when was Sex a crime?

I had fun writing this chapter....and i hope you get a good laugh I wanna thank _**Tommygrl1997**_ for giving me this idea

* * *

Chapter 27

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Emmett: **Ahhh I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

**Alice: **Take what?

**Emmett: **Edward and Bella have been doing it all morning

**Jasper: **Doing it all morning?

**Emmett: **They have been having sex all morning

**Rosalie: **Emmett babe shut up..i think what they are doing is a beautiful thing even thought its been non stop

**Emmett: **A beautiful thing? Its torture

**Alice: **Emmett now you know how we feel when you and Rose do it

**Jasper: **Yeah,the constant moaning and thumps

**Emmett: **Well i gotta say...i am a flexible man

**Alice: **Ewww Emmett way too much information

**Jasper: **Yeah..just leave the two love birds alone

**Emmett: **I CAN'T

**Rosalie: **Why?

**Emmett: **Cause I can't Imagine little Eddie Boy having sex

**Jasper: **Why not?

**Emmett: **Cause its just not natural

**Alice: **And you think when you and Rose do it then it is?

**Emmett: **Much likely yes

**Jasper: **Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yeah bro?

**Jasper: **GROW UP

**Emmett: **Blah blah grow blah up blah

**Jasper: **Atleast i know how to spell Throne ( I don't know why i choose this word..i think its only cause its something Emmett won't be able to spell right)

**Emmett: **I know how to spell that...T..Thr...R..Thrown

**Jasper: **YOU STILL SPELLED IT WRONG EVEN AFTER I TYPED IT

**Emmett: **WELL I'M SORRY I'M NOT THE HUMAN DICTIONARY

**Alice: **BOYS shut up

**Rosalie: **Yeah i agree with Alice..You two are immature

**Jasper: **Sorry

**Emmett: **Sorry

* * *

**Edward signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward: **Hey guys

**Bella: **Hehe yeah hey

**Emmett: **YOU !!

**Edward: **Me?

**Bella: **Him?

**Emmett: **Yes you

**Bella: **Me?

**Emmett: **No him

**Edward: **Who me?

**Emmett: **Yes you

**Alice: **I'm getting so confused EMMETT just say the name

**Emmett: **EDWARD

**Edward: **What did i do?

**Emmett: **Had sex

**Edward: **So its a crime?

**Emmett: **NO...YES..WAIT NO..BUT THEN YES

**Jasper: **CHOOSE

**Emmett: **Its a crime when you do it Eddie

**Edward: **ITs Edward and its a crime when you do it

**Emmett: **NU uuhhh

**Edward: **Yeah huhh

**Emmett: **Nuh uhh

**Rosalie: **BOYS....EMMETT ITS NOT A CRIME FOR THEM TO HAVE SEX BECAUSE IF YOU THINK IT IS THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP

**Emmett: **WHAT ?! but...

**Rosalie: **No buts..I'm tired of this and if you think its wrong to make love then you can just forget about having sex with me ever again

**Emmett: **Rose,i'm so sorry but please don't...Eddie..I mean Edward I'm sorry

**Rosalie: **Its ok

**Edward: **Apology accepted..And Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yeah?

**Edward: **Bella and I weren't having sex

**Emmett: **Then what were you doing?

**Edward: **Listening to music

**Emmett: **Oh wow i feel stupid

**Jasper: **Finally you figured it out

**Emmett: **Figured what out?

**Jasper: **Oh my god...Emmett

* * *

A/N **hehe i got a good laugh out of this...Oh EMMETT he can be such a goofball tell me what you think by reviewing :)**


	29. World War 2

Sorry this chapter is so late..I was out the whole day and didn't get in until like 10:00 pm ...Enjoy the chapter ...I wanna say thanks to

HateMikeNewton for helping me out and giving me this idea

* * *

Chapter 29

**Emmett signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Edward: **Oh My god...Emmett !!!

**Emmett: **Yeah bro?

**Edward: **What did you eat when you hunted last time?!!

**Emmett: **I think a skunk

**Jasper: **WHY WOULD YOU EAT A SKUNK EMMETT?!

**Emmett: **I don't know...i just did

**Edward: **Idiot

**Emmett: **What did you call me?

**Edward: **AN IDIOT

**Emmett: **Well your a bigger one !!!

**Alice: **HEY WHAT IS ALL THE COMMOTION ABOUT?

**Edward: **Well Alice you dumb brother here versed me to a farting contest

**Bella: **EDWARD !!!

**Edward: **HE DARED ME

**Bella: **But that is so unlike you

**Edward: **I know anyways back to the story everything was going fine until i smell that horrible stench !!

**Emmett: **Don't call Harry smelly

**Rosalie: **Whose Harry?

**Emmett: **The skunk i ate

**Jasper: **MAN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

**Emmett: **You don't name the things you eat?

**Jasper: **Umm let me think....NO

**Emmett: **Alright i have to admit I'm unusual

**Edward: **More like weird

**Emmett: **Don't push it

**Edward: **Alright..but Emmett the next time you ask me to do a farting contest

**Emmett: **Yeah?

**Edward: **Don't

**Emmett: **Fine...Jasper buddy how would you like to have a farting contest with me?

**Jasper: **Don't even start with me

* * *

**2 hours later (I decided to be nice and put 2 chapters in 1 chapter)**

**Alice: **Hey Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yeah?

**Alice: **Why are all you Blue's Clue's videos in the trash can?

**Emmett: **Oh cause they are old....The Wiggles are so 3 weeks ago

**Bella: **So whats the new show you watch?

**Emmett: **Doren de enbloren

**Rosalie: **Babe what did you say?

**Emmett: **Dora the Explora

**Bella: **HAHAHHA YOU WATCH

**Alice: **DORA THE

**Rosalie: **EXPLORA?

**Emmett: **Yes...

**Alice: **AHAHHA

**Bella: **HAHAHA

**Rosalie: **HEHEHE

**Emmett: **Stop laughing...

**Edward: **Yeah girls stop

**Jasper: **Yeah i agree

**Alice: **Why?

**Edward: **Cause we

**Jasper: **Like the show

**Emmett: **Really?

**Edward: **Yes really

**Bella: **Why?

**Edward: **Well i'm a fan of Boots

**Jasper: **And I like the Map..he is so cool

**Emmett: **My favorite is Dora

**Edward: **Yeah she is pretty cool

**Alice: **The map isn't cool

**Bella: **Yeah neither is Boots

**Rosalie: **Or Dora

**Emmett: **Take

**Edward: **That

**Jasper: **Back

**Bella: **No...Emmett i liked it better when you watched the Wiggles

**Emmett: **Well its not my fault you like shows that are so 3 weeks ago

**Bella: **Emmett don't start with me

**Emmett: **If i wanna start with you then i will

**Bella: **No your not

**Emmett: **Yes i am..I'm older than you

**Bella: **By a few decades and you never let me forget

**Emmett: **Thats because i'm older

**Alice: **Shut up you two

**Rosalie: **Us girls will apologize if you boys will apologize

**Edward: **Fine but i don't know what were saying sorry for but sorry

**Jasper: **Yeah same here...Sorry

**Emmett:** Sorry

**Alice: **Sorry boys

**Rosalie: **Yeah sorry...we were mean

**Bella: **Yeah i guess you guys can like Dora if you wanted to

**Emmett: **YEAH CAUSE SHE ROCKS !!!

* * *

A/N **HAHAH hope you enjoyed that...I was confused how to start it out but as soon as i start it came to me...Ahhh Emmett is so weird but thats **

**what makes him special Thanks for reading and don't forget to review !!! **


	30. Linkin Park

Well heres a chapter...I hope you like it..I just realized the more chapters i put up the less things i have to say

Song of the day

Linkin Park-New Divide

Anyways i wanna thank _WeirdKailey _for giving me the idea_ Enjoy !!  
_

* * *

Chapter 30

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on **

**Bella: **Omg Rose,Alice?

**Rosalie: **Yes?

**Alice: **Yeah?

**Bella: **Your never gonna believe this but....

**Rosalie: **But...

**Alice: **Just say it already

**Bella: **LINKIN PARKS IS COMING TO FORKS !!! ( i choose this band cause i love their song New Divide !!! )

**Rosalie: **OMG no way!!

**Bella: **Yes way

**Alice: **Nu Uhh

**Bella: **Yeah uhh

**Emmett: **Like omg i can't believe it..Linking park is so dreamy

**Alice: **Ummm

**Jasper: **Emmett what are you doing?

**Emmett: **Acting like the girls

**Edward: **But why?

**Emmett: **I don't know....do i think while doing? I think not so don't question my doings

**Rosalie: **Emmett we don't talk like that

**Emmett: **But to me thats what it sounds like

**Alice: **Anyways..ignoring the imbecile when are they coming?

**Bella: **IN 2 DAYS !!!

**Rosalie: **AHHH

**Alice: **OMG AHHHHHH

**Bella: **I know its so amazing

**Alice: **They are so amazing

**Rosalie: **Their music is amazing

**Emmett: **I'm amazing too...I can burp out the alphabet

**Edward: **That's just gross Emmett

**Emmett: **Want me to demonstrate?

**Jasper: **PLEASE NO

**Emmett: **Well i didn't ask you..I asked Edward

**Edward: **I don't think so

**Alice: **Boys stop interrupting us..were in an intense conversation

**Emmett: **Well !! Isn't a certain pixie rude today

**Alice: **Blah isnt blah a blah certain blah pixie blah rude blah today...I DON'T CARE

**Emmett: **I dont care blah blah blah

**Bella: **Alice leave the immature vampire alone and get back to the convo

**Alice: **Fine, what were we talking about again?

**Rosalie: **How great Linkin Park is

**Alice: **Oh yeah..I am in love with their song New Divide

**Bella: **I know me too

**Rosalie: **Ahh i can't wait for them to come

**Alice: **Me too...I need to buy a new outfit

**Bella: **Me too...Omg i hope we get to go back stage

**Rosalie: **That would be so awesome

**Emmett: **I think farting is awesome

**Edward: **Emmett....Ewww

**Jasper: **Yeah things are best un said

**Emmett: **Just thought i should speak out the truth

**Alice: **Are you boys done talking yet?

**Emmett: **Rude

**Alice: **Immature

**Emmett: **Oh thats it little pixie your going down...the smart Emmett is going away

**Alice: **You were smart?

**Emmett: **Yes...stupid

**Alice: **Oh im stupid?

**Emmett: **Yes

**Alice: **Then why were you the one talking about burping the alphabet?

**Emmett: **Cause its cool

**Alice: **And gross

**Emmett: **Women...

**Alice: **Men...

* * *

A/N **so what do you think? Was Emmett funny enough? **


	31. Sex Tape

Here is a chapter before i go to Florida but if there are computers at the hotel then im gonna use those !!! Im gonna miss you all and i can't wait

to come back !!

I wanna thank WeirdKailey for giving me this idea and i gotta say..it came out pretty good

* * *

Chapter 31

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett: **Hey there my homie Gs

**Alice: **Emmett....noo

**Edward: **Yeah i agree with Alice...your not a gangster

**Jasper: **Yeah maybe its time you gave up on that

**Bella: **Agreed

**Emmett: **Oh yeah well would a Gangster have a SEX TAPE?

**Edward: **Actually yes...Wait you have a what ?!

**Emmett: **I Emmett is a proud owner of a sex tape

**Alice: **EWWWW

**Rosalie: **Emmett you swore you wouldn't tell people

**Emmett: **Must have slipped my mind

**Jasper: **Sure it did

**Emmett: **Your just jealous you don't have a sex tape

**Jasper: **I'm glad i don't have a sex tape

**Emmett: **Trust me..You should try it sometime

**Jasper: **Well in that case no thank you

**Bella: **Emmett,Rose why would you even make a sex tape in the first place?

**Emmett: **Because they are cool

**Rosalie: **I was just bored

**Alice: **What a nice reason Rose

**Rosalie: **Well you know how turned on i get

**Alice: **Yeah just a little too much

**Emmett: **Well nothing matters anymore cause i have a sex tape..WHAT NOW !!

**Edward: **WOW Emmett you have a sex tape..Too bad no one cares

**Emmett: **Its ok to be jealous Eddie

**Edward: **Its Edward and no im good

**Emmett: **Pshhh you are all jealous because of my beauty

**Alice: **What does beauty have to do with sex tapes?

**Emmett: **You need to be beautiful to make one

**Bella: **No you don't !!!

**Emmett: **Yes you do or els the video camera will break

**Jasper: **Those are called rumors

**Edward: **Yeah that stuff is never true just like....

**Bella: **Never step on a crack of els you break you mothers back?

**Edward: **Yes Exactly

**Emmett: **But i step on cracks all the time and Esme doesn't break her back

**Jasper: **Oh my god

**Bella: **Emmett that's because Esme is a vampire !!

**Emmett: **Oh that makes more sense now

**Edward: **Yeah sometimes you dumber than i think

**Emmett: **Oh yeah we at least I have a ..

**Edward: **Yeah

**Jasper: **Yeah we all know

**Alice: **You have a sex tape

**Emmett: **How did you guys know?

**Bella: **Oh my god

**Jasper: **Never mind Emmett

**Emmett: **OK but guess what !!!

**Edward: **We all

**Jasper: **Know you

**Alice: **Have a

**Bella: **Sex tape

**Emmett: **Wow you guys are really good at this

* * *

A/N **i know its short but do you like it ? **


	32. Authos note from Florida

Hey from Florida. Its really hot here but thank god for air conditioners..Im not gonna post a chapter because I really don't have any time but thank my dad for letting me use his going to be

back on Monday and I have so many idea I am going to use for Thanks for the Memories… and for Cullen Aim i have some funny ideas i'm going to use and of course it includes Emmett being

himself which includes being stupid .

I just want to let you all know that the story is going to get really tense and interesting ..I can't tell you that much cause im not

much of a spoiler so your just gonna have to read and find out. I'm kinda sad that I didn't get much reviews but its better than not getting any reviews at all.I didn't check my read and reply

to all the reviews yet because im waiting to do that when I come back but I do want to thank everyone for reviewing .I really appreciate it :) BTW i wrote the same authors note for my

other stories because i didn't want to spend time writing 2 authors note when i could have 1


	33. Yo Mama

Yay I'm back and Florida was awesome but i miss home and i miss writing for you all !! I wanted this chapter to be serious and funny at the same

time so i hope i did good, I got reviews while i was away and knew once i got back i had to write right away,So i hope you all like it....i've been gone for way too long...damn i miss this dont forget to REVIEW

YOUR OPINIONS !!!

* * *

Chapter 33

**Emmett signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Esme signs on **

**Jasper: **Hey y'all

**Alice: **Hey Jazzy

**Edward: **Hey

**Bella: **Hey Jasper?

**Jasper: **Yes?

**Bella: **Are you OK?

**Jasper: **Why do you ask?

**Bella: **Cause you sometimes use your southern accent when something is wrong **(I know this isn't true but it made sense with the chapter )**

**Rosalie: **That's so true but i never thought about it

**Jasper: **Well....

**Alice: **Jasper tell me whats wrong

**Jasper: **OK Emmett it driving me crazy !!!

**Edward: **What did he do man?

**Jasper: **We were watching TV and an old show came on...so we kept watching it and it turns out that people on the show compete each other with Yo Mama jokes

**Bella: **Yo Mama?

**Jasper: **Yes

**Rosalie: **Uhhh what exactly is that?

**Jasper: **It's a show..

**Rosalie: **Yeah i got that i meant whats the show about exactly

**Jasper: **2 people get chosen and they end up just competing with Yo Mama Jokes,I don't remember all the jokes them exactly cause of Emmett's loud talking, Even as a vampire i couldn't heard the TV **( I know its not true but just go along with it )**

**Emmett: **Did someone call my name?

**Edward: **Everyone was saying your name...you really late

**Emmett: **Oh yeah well Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

**Edward: **Emmett your "Mama" Is my "Mama"

**Emmett: **Oh yeah i kind forgot...sorry dude

**Edward: **It's alright man

**Alice: **So Emmett You watch "Yo mama"?

**Emmett: **Yeah it's a new show i discovered but its really old

**Rosalie: **Finally you got rid of those baby shows

**Emmett: **What are you talking about?

**Rosalie: **You are stopping watching those shows right?

**Emmett: **That's not funny babe

**Rosalie: **I just thought you stopped watching them and decided to watch more grown up shows

**Emmett: **I repeat..Not funny at all

**Jasper: **Emmett what would you know about being funny?

**Emmett: **Oh please small person i know plenty of funny

**Jasper: **I'm not that small...

**Emmett: **From where i stand you are

**Jasper: **Well from where i stand you look like the Red Wiggle

**Emmett: **Oh Jazzy that was so mean...You know that show is canceled for me and i can't get them back but you just have to remind me !!!

**Jasper: **My name is Jasper...Look at it...and remember it...Emmett you douche

**Emmett: **YOU ALSO KNOW I'M NOT THAT INTELIGANT BUT YET YOU ALWAYS REMIND ME AND I'M NOT A DOUCHE

**Jasper: **You spelled Intelligent wrong

**Emmett: **Oh its on...I'm going to handle this the grown up way

**Jasper: **Bring it on

**Edward: **Whats the grown up way?

**Emmett: **Yo Mama Jokes

**Rosalie: **Jasper you don't even know Yo Mama jokes

**Jasper: **I heard enough to know enough

**Bella: **Boys no this is going to end well

**Alice: **Yeah i agree with Bella someone will get hurt

**Edward: **And you both are douches

**Rosalie: **And stupid

**Emmett: **SHUT

**Jasper: **UP

**Emmett: **Ok little bro show me what you got

**Jasper: **Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

**Emmett: **Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals

**Jasper: **Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies

**Emmett: **Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars

**Jasper: **Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween

**Emmett: **Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

**Jasper: **Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

**Emmett: **Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved

**Esme: **BOYS THAT IS ENOUGH

**Emmett: **Mom since when did you sign on

**Jasper: **Yeah i would have seen it

**Esme: **I WAS ON FROM THE START

**Emmett: **Oh mom Jasper made fun of me !!!

**Jasper: **Emmett called me a douche

**Esme: **I DON'T CARE BECAUSE RIGHT NOW BOTH OF YOU ARE DOUCHES

**Edward: **Woah

**Alice: **Mom are you ok?

**Esme: **NO I'M NOT BECAUSE I HAD TO SIT IN MY CHAIR WATCHING YOU TWO TALK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT !!!

**Emmett: **Mom we weren't serious..it was a show i saw on TV

**Jasper: **Yeah we didn't mean it we just said the jokes we heard on the show

**Emmett: **Yeah...Jasper buddy i love you so much

**Jasper: **Yeah big bro your the best

**Esme: **I don't care both of you are grounded for 4 weeks with No TV

**Emmett: **But mommy

**Esme: **Emmett do not call me mommy because right now i do not approve of anything you did

**Emmett: **Would everything be ok if i said...umm sorry?

**Emse: **Yes but in that sorry i want you to swear that you won't watch those shows again and stop teaching Jasper these things

**Emmett: **But i didn't teach...Oh fine I swear i won't watch those shows and Jasper sorry if i taught you anything

**Jasper: **It's ok

**Esme: **Your forgiven but i still don't want both of you watching those shows

**Jasper: **Ok we promise

**Emmett: **Yeah

* * *

A/n I Know the Yo mama show is really old but i kinda missed laughing at the jokes they made so i just wanted to have a chapter contributed to

them !!! hope you all liked it..I though about it last night and just had to try it out so review and thanks for reading !!!


	34. Knock Knock

I don't have much to say except enjoy the chapter !!

* * *

Chapter 34

**Emmett signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Alice signs on **

**Emmett: **Hey guys wanna hear a joke?

**Edward: **Sure

**Jasper: **Ehh why not i need a good laugh

**Alice: **Just as long as its not stupid

**Bella: **Yeah Emmett your not really funny

**Rosalie: **Just your actions are

**Emmett: **Oh please family i could make a cow laugh with my eyes closed

**Bella: **That makes no sense why would a cow laugh?

**Emmett: **Oh Shush and let me tell you me joke

**Alice: **Ok go for it

**Emmett: **knock knock

**Edward: **Whose there?

**Emmett: **Water

**Jasper: **Water who?

**Emmett: **What are...wait i forgot

**Rosalie: **Was that the joke?

**Emmett: **No i forgot the rest of it

**Alice: **Your truly dumber than you look

**Emmett: **Thank you

**Alice: **Your welcome haha

**Emmett: **Wait...THAT WAS AN INSULT

**Edward: **Haha yeah finally you figured it out

**Jasper: **Yeah i was beginning to worry about you

**Emmett: **I'm gonna think about my joke but i'm gonna come back

**Bella: **Yeah bye bye take your time

**Emmett signs off**

**Bella: **That boy has great things in his future

**Alice: **Yeah as long as it doesn't include being a comedian

**Jasper: **Yeah just imagine poor Emmy getting throw tomatoes at him

**Alice: **Its kinda funny when you think about it

**Bella: **ALICE !!

**Alice: **What ?! it is...Emmett is funny when he is irritated

**Rosalie: **True but we couldn't let him know that

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett: **Let me know what?

**Rosalie: **Oh nothing

**Emmett: **Are you sure because i swore i heard you say my name...

**Rosalie: **Trust me it was nothing..did you um figure out your uhh joke yet?

**Edward: **Yeah c'mon man I've been dieing to hear it

**Emmett: **Well ok if you insist..knock knock

**Edward: **whose there?

**Emmett: **Water

**Edward: **Water who?

**Emmett: **What are...oh shoot

**Jasper: **What happened?

**Emmett: **I forgot the joke again..be right back

**Emmett signs off**

**Jasper: **Ughh i think i will literally rip off Emmett's arm if he keeps forgetting

**Alice: **Honey you can't forget that Emmett has a brain of a 5 year old

**Jasper: **True

**Rosalie: **Alice..what is with you and insulting my husband?

**Alice: **What ?! you would do it too

**Rosalie: **Yes in private probably

**Alice: **See..point proved

**Bella: **Guys this is stupid

**Alice: **Whats stupid?

**Bella: **Emmett's joke

**Edward: **What about it?

**Bella: **He is telling us a joke..that he can't remember every 5 seconds

**Jasper: **Yeah i think we might need to get him a cat scan of his brain

**Edward: **Yeah i worry about that boy way too much

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett: **Ok ok im sure i have the joke

**Alice: **Give it your best

**Emmett: **Knock knock

**Alice: **Whose there?

**Emmett: **Water

**Alice: **Water who?

**Emmett: **What are..What are...what are

**Alice: **You forgot didn't you

**Emmett: **Yeah

**Alice: **Be right back?

**Emmett: **Yeah

**Emmett signs off**

**Edward: **That was a waste of time

**Jasper: **Yeah argghh if only he got that last part right

**Alice: **Poor fella can't remember a single thing

**Bella: **Poor fella?

**Alice: **HEY ! i can be nice

**Rosalie: **Yeah sometimes

**Alice: **I'm actually nice to everyone

**Rosalie: **Except for Emmett

**Alice: **Its not my fault he can be a little stupid sometimes

**Bella: **Yeah we might need to work on that

**Jacob signs on **

**Jacob: **Hey vampies

**Bella: **Vampies?

**Jacob: **Yeah it sounds way better than vampires

**Bella: **True

**Jasper: **So anything you need?

**Jacob: **What? i can't go online and not be questioned?

**Jasper: **Nope now anything you need?

**Jacob: **Actually..Yeah Bella remember how you told me you needed me to fix you truck?

**Bella: **Jacob...

**Jacob: **Yeah?

**Bella: **I got rid of my truck a long long time ago

**Jacob: **Really?

**Bella: **Yes really

**Jacob: **Why?

**Bella: **Cause this vampire has a need for speed

**Rosalie: **Haha OH YEAH BELLA

**Jacob: **I can see that blonde brainwashed you

**Rosalie: **I didn't brainwash her you pup

**Jacob: **If you didn't then why did she have a need for speed?

**Rosalie: **That's vampire talk

**Bella: **Yeah my truck went 2 miles per hour

**Jacob: **I could have fixed it

**Bella: **Lets just drop the subject

**Emmett signs on**

**Bella: **Oh look Emmett's back

**Edward: **Yeah how joyful that is

**Emmett: **Eddie be quiet

**Edward: **It's Edward

**Emmett: **Yeah yeah ready for the joke?

**Alice: **Do you have it memorized?

**Emmett: **Yes

**Jasper: **Positive

**Emmett: **Yep

**Jacob: **Wait..What joke?

**Rosalie: **The joke Emmett is trying to tell us but keeps forgetting

**Jacob: **Ahh classic Emmett

**Emmett: **What is that suppose to mean?

**Jacob: **It means you forget easily

**Emmett: **Just sometimes

**Jasper: **Any ways..the joke?

**Emmett: **Oh yeah knock knock

**Jasper: **Whose there?

**Emmett: **Water

**Jasper: **Water who ?

**Jacob: **What are you doing?

**Emmett: **YOU DOG STOLE MY JOKE

**Jacob: **NO I DIDNT

**Emmett: **THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

**Jacob: **Who doesn't know about it?

**Emmett: **Umm Edward,Rose,Alice,Bella,and Jasper

**Jacob: **Well everyone in La Push told me about it

**Emmett: **Well you didn't have to say it for me

**Jacob: **You keep on forgetting

**Emmett: **No..i had it memorized

**Jacob: **You think you had it memorized

**Emmett: **No i know i had it memorized

**Jacob: **Yeah ok what ever

**Bella: **BOYS SHUT UP IT DOESN'T MATTER

**Emmett: **But it mattered to me

**Bella: **Emmett...

**Emmett: **Ok i over reacted

**Bella: **Yeah and Jake

**Jacob: **Fine..sorry for ruining it for you

**Emmett: **Yeah yeah apology accepted

**Jacob: **Vampires....

**Emmett: **Dogs....

* * *

A/N ahhh hahah Emmett and Jacob throw off....this didnt seem funny enough..i think i'm losing my touch..I was so funney back then -tears- anyways REVIEWS though


	35. The Discovery Channel

Hey my favorite readers i wanna say sorry for not updating early enough,there was too much stuff going on and i was having a break down, but i

hope this chapter will make up for it and the future chapters :)

* * *

Chapter 35

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Bella signs on **

**Alice: **Hey everyone

**Jasper: **Hi

**Rosalie: **Hey

**Emmett: **Sup

**Edward: **Hey

**Bella: **Hi Alice whats up?

**Alice: **Oh nothing a little homework,rearranging my closet,about to go shopping, reading the latest gossip..

**Bella: **That's nice..wait OH NO ALICE NO

**Rosalie: **Bella you don't even know what she was gonna say

**Bella: **Rose i'm not dumb and Alice no absolutely not

**Alice: **But..

**Bella: **No buts

**Edward: **Love,we all know that Alice can be a tad annoying but lets hear her out

**Alice: **Thank you Edward...wait annoying?

**Edward: **Just a tad

**Alice: **Mhhmm sure..but still Bella

**Bella: **No

**Emmett: **Yes

**Bella: **EMMETT !!!

**Emmett: **WHAT ?! I wanted to play too

**Jasper: **Emmett they aren't playing a game you fool

**Emmett: **Well no one informed me on that

**Edward: **Emmett no words can describe how your brain works

**Emmett: **Thank you

**Rosalie: **Emmett honey that was an insult

**Emmett: **Oh Edward shut up at least....no wait you good at that...Hold on at least i can...wait no your good at that too

**Edward: **Are you finished?

**Emmett: **Yes....girls proceed

**Bella: **Thank you Emmett, Alice no is no

**Alice: **But your gonna love it

**Jasper: **Darlin maybe you should give Bella a break at what ever you two are fighting about

**Alice: **No, Bella you won't regret this

**Bella: **No

**Jacob signs on**

**Jacob: **Hey vampies

**Alice: **What do you want?!

**Jacob: **Well looks like your not in a good mood

**Alice: **Well I was about to get what i wanted until you interrupted

**Emmett: **But Alice you were kind of losing back there

**Alice: **Emmett sometimes you make a rock want to crack on its own

**Emmett: **Why would it do that when i can crack it using my hands

**Alice: **Emmett i'm not really in the mood to yell at you so please just keep you stupidity to yourself

**Emmett: **Im not stupid...

**Jacob: **HELLO !!! I came here for a reason

**Jasper: **And the reason is?

**Jacob: **I weeb felb gib fy gomiword

**Rosalie: **English please

**Jacob: **I NEED HELP WITH MY HOME WORK

**Bella: **Jacob it's ok we can help you..right everyone

**Rosalie: **Yeah yeah sure

**Edward: **Fine...

**Jasper: **Gladly

**Alice: **Whats the question?

**Emmett: **Wait no this is cutting into my Tv time !!

**Bella: **EMMETT

**Edward: **I'm not as into this and your worry about your Tv time?

**Emmett: **Yes ?

**Jasper: **EMMETT !!

**Emmett: **Stop yelling at me !!! what did i do?

**Alice: **Its called be nice and help...i'm grumpy and i'm helping

**Emmett: **Cause you don't have a life !!

**Alice: **Oh your gonna regret saying that...

**Emmett: **Alice what did you mean by th.....ALICE NO BACK AWAY,I HAVE A TISSUE AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT

**Edward: **A tissue?

**Jasper: **I thought Emmett would be smart enough to use something heavy

**Rosalie: **But a tissue?

**Bella: **No comment

**Emmett: **OW !!!

**Alice: **And that's the last time you will say i have no life

**Edward: **Emmett what did she do to you?

**Emmett: **She threw a clothes hanger at my head...

**Jasper: **AND THAT HURT?!

**Emmett: **Not physically but Emotionally it hurt on the inside

**Bella: **Emmett you big baby

**Emmett: **You try getting hit in the head with a clothes hanger...

**Bella: **I'll pass

**Jacob: **Hey i know your all having fun,but i would love to get some help on this thing called my homework

**Bella: **Oh right sorry so whats the question

**Emmett: **WAIT !!!

**Jasper: **Oh my god what now ?!

**Emmett: **Whats the subject?

**Jacob: **Science

**Edward: **Your helping Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yeah only cause i want to and not because Alice scares me when she hold a clothes hanger..i'm just saying

**Rosalie: **Alright lets get this over with,whats the questions?

**Jacob: **Name 3 sedimentary rocks

**Bella: **YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT?!

**Jacob: **I'M A BUSY PERSON ,I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR STUDYING

**Emmett: **Lime stone,Shale and Sandstone

**Rosalie: **Emmett how did you know that?

**Emmett: **The discovery channel

**Edward: **Of course

**Jasper: **Jacob even Emmett knew that

**Jacob: **Ok i definitely need to study more ok next question what is the word when plants produce oxygen and make food?

**Emmett: **Photosynthesis?

**Bella: **Emmett that's right..

**Emmett: **Cool

**Jacob: **That's all the questions

**Alice: **Only 2?

**Jacob: **Yeah

**Alice: **ANYWAYS like i was saying before Bella please go

**Bella: **Fine

**Alice: **Pleas...Oh ok meet you downstairs in 2 minutes

**Jasper: **Hey Emmett how did you know all those questions?

**Emmett: **The discovery channel

**Edward: **You watch the discovery channel?

**Emmett: **Yeah

**Edward: **That's surprising

**Jasper: **It sure is

**Emmett: **Hey gotta go peace out suckers Sponge bob is on

* * *

A/N hope it was funny enough,i'm trying my best to be more funny because when i read my past chapters i was a lot more funnier back then than i am now


	36. Authors Note

I NEED IDEAS !!! It took me a while and I figured out i can't

be funny without you guys, so please give me your best ideas.

It's either i have writers block or i'm only funny when ideas are given to me

But here is the great news the more ideas i get the faster i can get out the chapters out cause

Right now its either Emmett becomes a smart ass or He is a dumb ass and i choose dumb ass

cause he is a lot more funnier when he is stupid :)


	37. Emmett Cullen smart?

Ok well I got a lot of ideas and they were all weird but that's ok with me because this will let me try and get my funny ness back and so some of

the stuff in this chapter is wrong but that's because i made it all up from my head and if your confused now don't worry about it because your

gonna know what i'm talking about when you read it !!

Oh yeah I would like to thank **EMMETT GIVES THE BEST BEARHUGS** for giving me the idea...it was kinda hard but i got it

* * *

Chapter 37

**Emmett signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Emmett: **BELLAAA !!!

**Bella: **Emmett what do you want? i'm right next door !!

**Emmett: **Just wanted to say hi

**Bella: **Well?

**Emmett: **Well what?

**Bella: **Aren't you gonna say hi?

**Emmett: **Why would i do that?

**Bella: **You just told me you were gonna say hi to me

**Emmett: **No i didn't

**Bella: **Yes you did

**Emmett: **ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO?

**Bella: **Umm yeah?

**Emmett: **Oh ok

**Bella: **Was that all you needed me for?

**Emmett: **Wait let me think

**30 minutes later**

**Bella: **Still thinking Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yeah

**20 minutes later**

**Bella: **Emmett you still there?

**Emmett: **Yep and still thinking

**40 minutes later**

**Bella: **EMMETT I'M TIRED OF WAITING YOU'VE BEEN THINKING FOR 1 HOUR AND 30 MINUTES

**Emmett: **Whats your point?

**Bella: **A monkey could learn its ABC by the time you finished thinking

**Emmett: **WAIT !!

**Bella: **WHAT NOW?!

**Emmett: **I thought of something

**Bella: **Finally I thought i was gonna have to punch you in the back of your head

**Emmett: **Must it always result in violence with you?

**Bella: **Emmett...just tell me what you need my help with

**Emmett: **Ok i want to be smart

**Bella: **Be smart?

**Emmett: **Yeah...like Albert Einstein

**Bella: **Emmett the smartest person on Earth right now can't match Albert Einstein's intelligence

**Emmett: **Like that !!

**Bella: **Like what?

**Emmett: **How you said the smartest person on Earth right now can't match Albert Einstein's intelligence

**Bella: **Yeah..what about it?

**Emmett: **It sounds smart

**Bella: **Yeah that's kinda what people sound like when they are smart

**Emmett: **I want you to teach me how to talk like that

**Bella: **Emmett its not something you learn about..its something you do on your own

**Emmett: **YOU DID IT AGAIN !!

**Bella: **Did what?

**Emmett: **Talk !!

**Bella: **Yeah thanks Captain Obvious

**Emmett: **No i mean... you talked like a smart person

**Bella: **This is how i usually talk

**Emmett: **So teach me

**Bella: **Teach you how to talk smart?

**Emmett: **NOO teach me the hokey pokey....Of course teach me how to talk smart !!!

**Bella: **Emmett shut up or els i won't help

**Emmett: **Fine

**Bella: **Before i was rudely interrupted i was doing some homework on Whats the reason for making a boat going up and down with the sped of the tidal waves

**Emmett: **What does that mean?

**Bella: **Oh right I forgot your the dumb one of the family

**Emmett: **I RESENT THAT

**Bella: **Do you even know what that means?

**Emmett: **No...

**Bella: **Exactly....ok let me say this so you can understand, Big boat bouncy

**Emmett: **Oh i get it pshh this is easier to understand than that time Alice dared me to burn your underwear

**Bella: **YOU BURN MY UNDER WEAR?

**Emmett: **ALICE DARED ME

**Bella: **So you do it?!

**Emmett: **EMMETT CULLEN NEVER BACKS DOWN FROM A DARE

**Bella: **You will pay for burning my underwear

**Emmett: **Sure sure next

**Bella: **Ok next I was suppose to figure out what generates a Tv

**Emmett: **What?

**Bella: **Tv turns on and off

**Emmett: **Ohh this stuff is easy , I don't know why I didn't think of this stuff before

**Bella: **Anyways next I was suppose to see how a motor makes a boat travel

**Emmett: **Oh I know this one

**Bella: **Ok give it a shot

**Emmett: **Ok Emmett you can do this...You've Met Barney,You've colored Rose's clothes,You even broke a window in the house with a snow ball

**Bella: **Emmett what are you doing ?!

**Emmett: **Giving myself a manly pep talk

**Bella: **JUST TRANSLATE THE MEANING

**Emmett: **Ok The battery from a motor generates an electrical flow from the battery to the motor of the boat making it travel...is that right?

**Bella: **Emmett?

**Emmett: **Yeah?

**Bella: **That was right..

**Emmett: **Really?

**Bella: **Yeah

**Emmett: **WOO HOO

* * *

**Esme signs on**

**Carlisle signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Jasper signs on **

**Esme: **Emmett Cullen why are you yelling ?!

**Emmett: **I said something smart

**Carlisle: **Emmett this is not a good time to be joking with us now tell us the real reason

**Bella: **Esme ,Carlisle Emmett did say something smart

**Alice: **Wait in his vocabulary smart or our vocabulary smart?

**Bella: **In our vocabulary smart

**Edward: **Our Emmett did that?

**Alice: **The same Emmett who burnt your underwear?

**Bella: **Yea and Alice we need to talk about that Dare

**Alice: **What dare? Oh look Rosalie wants to say something

**Rosalie: **I do?

**Alice: **Yes !!

**Rosalie: **Ok is this the same Emmett who whined because Edward threw out all of Emmett's video tapes of the Wiggles?

**Bella: **Yeah

**Jasper: **And the same Emmett who threw a party while mom and dad were away

**Bella: **Yeah

**Esme: **The same Emmett who...

**Emmett: **Ok I think we all get it..I'm not the smartest vampire alive

**Jasper: **Wait before we all congratulate Emmett we need proof

**Emmett: **Alright Bella give me another one

**Bella: **Ok Emmett how does the air from the basketball cause the ball to go up and down?

**Emmett: **A basketball depends on pressurized air for its bounciness. When the ball hits the court, it compresses that air and the air stores energy in its compression

**Edward: **Oh my god that was right

**Emmett: **HAHA in yo face..i'm smart your not so eat my snot

**Esme: **EMMETT CULLEN

**Emmett: **Sorry

**Bella: **So does that prove to you that Emmett has a smart bone in his body?

**Rosalie: **Yeah until he made up that rhyme

**Alice: **Yeah

**Emmett: **Well i hope now you will all think of me as smart

**Carlisle: **We sure do

**Emmett: **Ok duty calls Blue Clues is on and i'm am not missing another episode

* * *

A/n I thought it was kinda boring but entertaining at the same time but give me your opinion !!


	38. Bubbles

Yeah so I've been away for about 2 weeks now but that was because i was away for a while but i'm back and i've been pretty busy lately figuring

things out for high school even though it is too early i'm kinda nervous but I know I won't be once i actually start school. So I got this really good

Idea and I still have more ideas from other reviewers I still need to do but this is my I'm back chapter so enjoy !!

* * *

Chapter 38

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett: **HEY PEEPS SIGN ON !!

**Edward signs on**

**Bella signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Alice: **Emmett this better be important i was in the middle of spiking my hair !!

**Edward: **And I was in the middle playing my piano...

**Emmett: **Eddie no one cares if you write a new lullaby big woop i can stick 3 pickles up my nose but you don't see me bragging

**Edward: **Go kill a bear Emmett

**Emmett: **Blah blah blah go kill a bear Emmett, Emmett go pretend your a nurse,Emmett make me a sand which,Emmett go clean a hobo,You people are never satisfied

**Jasper: **Clean a hobo?

**Bella: **Pretend your a nurse?

**Emmett: **Don't ask....

**Bella: **I don't want to know

**Rosalie: **So you wanted to tell us something?

**Emmett: **Oh yeah....I got a goldfish

**Jasper: **Oh god, First you bring home Barney and now a goldfish?!

**Emmett: **Yes..Oh yeah you wanna know what I named him?

**Bella: **Emmett what did you name him?

**Emmett: **Bubbles

**Alice: **Why bubbles?

**Emmett: **Because bubbles comes out from his mouth

**Bella: **Of course

**Edward: **How do you know its a boy?

**Emmett: **I followed it

**Jasper: **What do you mean b....EWWW EMMETT YOU NASTY

**Emmett: **Not like that you perv,I gave Bubbles some food and then the rest is history and I found out he is a boy

**Rosalie: **So what are you gonna do with bubbles now?

**Emmett: **Raise him to be a handsome goldfish and hopefully get him a lady friend

**Alice: **Lady friend?

**Emmett: **Yeah its another word for girl...

**Alice: **I KNOW WHAT IT IS....why would Bubbles need a lady friend?

**Emmett: **It gets lonely in that fish tank

**Edward: **Oh well sure you bring home a goldfish to a family of Vampires and act like nothing is going to happen ?! **(I don't know if vampires eat goldfish but lets just say they do)**

**Emmett: **I'm not gonna eat Bubbles and If any of you eat him I will shove 3 pickles up your nose in your sleep...

**Alice: **Don't worry I wouldn't want to eat your 3 inch fish

**Emmett: **Good cause Bubbles doesn't like Oompah lompas

**Alice: **Take that back..

**Emmett: **Make me

**Rosalie: **Em that's not a good idea remember wh...

**Emmett: **Its ok what is she gonna do? Throw a jacket at me?

**Bella: **Emmett I wouldn't assume things

**Emmett: **And why not ....OW WHAT THE HELL

**Bella: **That's why

**Alice: **That's the last time you call me an oompah lompa

**Edward: **Emmett what did she do to you?

**Emmett: **She threw a shoe at my head

**Edward: **And that hurt?

**Emmett: **Um yeah she aimed for my eye

**Jasper: **Whimp

**Emmett: **You know what I'm gonna get Bubbles after you

**Jasper: **Yeah oh no help me now before the 3 inch fish attacks me...Oh no...

**Emmett: **Oh yeah well BUBBLES ATTACK !!

**Jasper: **Waiting...waiting...Oh look still waiting and no fish !!

**Emmett: **Bubbles?

**Alice: **Emmett what happened to Bubbles?

**Emmett: **I don't know one minute he is swimming and then the next he is upside down...

**Edward: **Sorry Bro but uhh i think Bubbles just died

**Emmett: **NOO BUBBLES COME BACK TO ME !!!

**Bella: **Ok Emmett what was the last thing you did before Bubbles passed away?

**Emmett: **I thought Bubbles need some fresh air so i put him on the ground

**Bella: **Well then what happened?

**Emmett: **Umm after I put him down he started flopping up and down and then I thought he had enough air so I put him back in the bowl and now this

**Bella: **Sorry Emmett but Bubbles died

**Emmett: **NO WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG !!

**Jasper: **How old was Bubbles?

**Emmett: **53 **( I don't know how many years in a fish life is in human life but lets just go along with that )**

**Alice: **I think Bubbles would have died either way...He is pretty old

**Emmett: **So I didn't kill him ?

**Edward: **No you did, But I think he would have wanted to be on land for once in his life and not always in water

**Bella: **Yeah so you probably did him a favor

**Emmett: **So i'm a good person?

**Rosalie: **Yes Emmett your a good person

**Emmett: **BOO YA can I get another fish?

**Edward: **NO

**Rosalie: **NOoo

**Bella: **Absolutely not !

**Alice: **No no no

**Jasper: **Actually...

**Alice: **JASPER !!

**Jasper: **I mean No

**Emmett: **Wimp

**Jasper: **Fish Killer...

**Emmett: **Oh that's it...

**Jasper: **Emmett what are you...EMMETT NO...PLEASE NO

**Emmett: **Now say your sorry

**Jasper: **Sorry

**Edward: **What did he do to you?

**Jasper: **He shoved 3 pickles up my nose

* * *

A/N Did ya like it ?? Wink Wink


	39. NoBody's Perfect

Hope ya like !!! BTW did anyone els hear the rumors that Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift might be going out? if not go check out trust me

your gonna die when you read it,But i'd rather have Taylor go out with Taylor than Selena

* * *

Chapter 39

**Alice signs on**

**Rosalie signs on**

**Alice signs on**

**Carlisle signs on**

**Esme signs on**

**Emmett signs on**

**Edward signs on**

**Jasper signs on**

**Carlisle: **Kids your mother and I have some news before we leave

**Emmett: **LEAVE ?! i THOUGHT YOU LOVE US...NOO I'M GONNA BE AN ORPHAN !!!

**Alice: **Emmett shut up he didn't mean it like that

**Emmett: **Oh sure just let them leave like that

**Esme: **Emmett honey we are not leaving you or anyone for that matter

**Emmett: **So where are you going?

**Esme: **To Island Esme for a while

**Emmett: **Esme?

**Esme: **Yes dear?

**Emmett: **You have an Island?

**Esme: **Oh my

**Carlisle: **Jasper...I thought you talked to him

**Jasper: **Dad I did...The poor boy thinks he is gonna be an orphan what more is there to do with him?

**Carlisle: **Very well Emmett... Esme uhh has an Island because i bought it for her long ago

**Emmett: **Then how come I don't have an Island? I mean sure I got in trouble a lot and did a lot of pranks...Plus made a lot of mistakes but i do want an Island

**Carlisle: **Uhh I can't buy you an island

**Emmett: **Why?

**Carlisle: **Cause were umm broke...Yeah were broke

**Edward: **Dad...

**Carlisle: **Just go along with it

**Emmett: **NOO FIRST IM GONNA BE AN ORPHAN AND NOW IM GONNA BE BROKE ?! Boo Hoo I'm a broke orphan....

**Carlisle: **Sorry Emmett you shouldn't have done all those things in the past

**Emmett: **I'LL CHANGE... I CAN DO IT...I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES...I DO..I DO

**Bella: **Emmett that's the saying in the movie Peter Pan

**Emmett: **Oh yeah but anyways dad what can i do?

**Carlisle: **How about before Esme and I departure we have a singing contest

**Emmett: **WAIT FIRST YOU GUYS WERE GONNA LEAVE AND NOW YOUR GONNA DEPARTURE ?! MY LIFE IS RUINED !!

**Jasper: **Emmett gosh just go prepare for the singing contest

**Emmett: **Okiee Dokiee

**Emmett signs off**

**Carlisle: **Ok now kids since Emmett is a little light in the head we are just going to get this over with an announce him as the winner and play along

**Edward: **Fine with me

**Jasper: **Yeah I can use a good laugh

**Alice: **Oh goody

**Bella: **Poor boy

**Esme: **Oh dear

**Rosalie: **Its ok with me

**Emmett signs on**

**Emmett: **I'M BACKK

**Jasper: **What song are you gonna sing?

**Emmett: **I decided to go with No Body's Perfect by Hannah Montana

**Edward: **Oh boy

**Carlisle: **Alright Emmett give us your best

**Emmett: **

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

1, 2, 3, 4!

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what' I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way, yeah!

Sometimes I'm in a jam

I've gotta make a plan

It might be crazy

I do it anyway

No way to know for sure

I figure out a cure

I'm patchin' up the holes

But then it overflows

If I'm not doin' too well

Why be so hard on myself?

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

Again and again

'Til I get it right

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

And if I mess it up sometimes

Nobody's perfect

Sometimes I work a scheme

But then it flips on me

Doesn't turn out how I planned

Gets stuck in quicksand

But no problem can't be solved

Once I get involved

I try to be delicate

Then crash right into it

But my intentions are good, yeah yeah yeah

Sometimes just misunderstood

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

Again and again

'Til I get it right

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

And if I mess it up sometimes

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

I know in time I'll find a way

Nobody's perfect

Sometimes I fix things up

And they fall apart again

Nobody's perfect

I know I mix things up

But I always get it right in the end

You know I do

Next time you feel like

It's just one of those days

When you just can't seem to win

If things don't turn out the way you planned

Figure something else out

Don't stay down, try again, yeah!

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what' I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

Again and again

'Til I get it right

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

And if I mess it up sometimes

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

I know in time I'll find a way

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

'Cause everybody makes mistakes

Nobody's perfect

(Nobody's perfect)

No no

Nobody's perfect!

**Emmett: **So did you like it?

**Bella: **That sure was interesting

**Rosalie: **Umm yeah

**Jasper: **WOW

**Alice: **Alittle speechless

**Edward: **Damn

**Esme: **EDWARD !!

**Edward: **I mean darn

**Carlisle: **Ok i wanna announce the winner

**Emmett: **Fingers crossed I win

**Carlisle: **And the winner is Emmett

**Emmett: **WOO

**Carlisle: **Ok now Esme and I must leave before out plane leaves

**Emmett: **your still leaving us ?!

**Carlisle: **Uhh I'll bring back souvenirs

**Emmett: **OK BYE

* * *

A/N haha I loved writing this chapter...its just something i thought of and had to put it up hope you liked it !!!


	40. Haiti

So i know ive been away for a while only because of homework and i jsut couldnt find the time or had any ideas but today i felt the urge to write

this chapter..at first i didn't know what i was going to do but when i saw a

commercial for Haiti i knew this would be the perfect idea. With everyones help we can change hundreds and thousands of lives.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight_

* * *

Chapter 40

**Alice signs on  
Bella signs on  
Rosalie signs on  
Jasper signs on  
Emmett signs on  
Edward signs on**Sniff

Emmett:

**Alice: **Emmett whats wrong?

**Emmett: **Haiti

**Rosalie: **Whats so sad about it?

**Emmett: **There are millions of people burried under buidlings and trash all because of an earthquake

**Rosalie:** And?...

**Emmett: **Its sad ! Have a heart !

**Rosalie: **Sorry..mine died a while ago

**Alice: **Rosalie your not making this any easier for him..

**Rosalie:** I'm just stating the truth and all of a sudden im the bad guy

**Alice: **-sigh-

**Bella: **Emmett its ok..because uhh i bet they are all someone how still alive

**Jasper: **Bella millions have died already..

**Emmett: **MILLIONS ?! I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND!

**Bella: **Jasper hush just go along iwth it

**Jasper: **Oh did i say millions? i meant a few thousand..

**Emmett: **I hope there is still hope for them

**Edward: **Don't worry Emmett..im sure they are either in heaven or praying that they will survive

**Emmett: **You think so? =]

**Edward: **I know so

**Alice: **Aww Edward that was so heart warming

**Edward: **I know..

**Bella: **Hey how about we all donate some money to Haiti

**Jasper: **Sounds like a good idea

**Emmett: **We can do that?

**Bella: **Yeah,tons of people do it almost everyday

**Emmett: **What does the money do?

**Bella: **Well it gives everyone more money to help them rebuild Haiti

**Alice: **The money also sometimes goes to the hospitals for better technology to help the survivors

**Emmett: **That doesn't sound like such a bad Idea..

**Edward: **Its not..we should all do it

**Rosalie: **You can all do it...im gonna be upstairs painting my nails

**Alice: **ROSALIE !

**Rosalie: **What?!

**Alice: **Support Emmett on this

**Rosalie: **No

**Alice: **Yes

**Rosalie: **No

**Alice: **Yes

**Rosalie: **No

**Emmett: **Please Rosie

**Rosalie: **Emmett...fine

**Emmett: **Yay....uhh quick question

**Bella: **Yeah?

**Emmett: **How do we send the money over there?

**Bella: **Wel-

**Emmett: **LETS TAKE A HELICOTER OVER THERE AND LET IT RAIN MONEY !

**Jasper: **Emmett..Well-

**Emmett: **OR WE CAN MAKE SNOWFLAKE MONEY AND LET IT SNOW MONEY !

**Edward: **Well Emmett--

**Emmett: **HOW ABOUT WE PUT ALL THE MONEY ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE ! IT WILL BE JUST LIKE CHRISTMAS !

**Alice: **Emmett lets think inside the box and not out

**Emmett: **Ok but i still like my ideas better

**Alice: **Well we can still do that but how about i write a check and send it to the Haiti Rescue Survivers Fund **( Not sure if this is a real Fundraiser or now)**

**Emmett: **That sounds like a good idea

**Bella: **It is..all we have to know if how much money were gonna send over

**Emmett: **HOW ABOUT A TRILLION ?!

**Jasper: **Emmett there is no such thing as a trillion

**Emmett: **Fine a million then

**Edward: **That sounds like a great amount

**Alice: **Alright..i just have to sign here and Great the check is filled

**Emmett: **Awesome ! Now what?

**Alice: **I'll deliver the check in the morning

**Emmett: **Ok can i go play with my Xbox now?

**Bella: **Sure go ahead..

**Emmett: **Thanks! peace suckers

**Emmett signs off**

**Edward: **Well it was nice having him care bout something even if it was for 40 minutes

**Jasper: **Yeah..and it felt good for all of us to contribute

**Alice: **This was such a great---

**Bella: **I tihnk she is having one of her visions

**Jasper: **Alice darlin what do yu see?

**Alice: **Haiti will get better..i just saw it

**Bella: **Thats great news !

**Alice: **Yeah it is and with everyones help we can sure get things back to the way it was before

**Alice signs off**

**Rosalie signs off**

**Bella signs off**

**Edward signs off **

**Jasper signs off **

* * *

A/N I hope yu all liked it..Right now im watching the Haiti Telethon that George clooney is hosting. Hope you all are contributing ! btw have a nice

weekend =]


End file.
